Hi and hello, my fellow football Americans and welcome to the offseason. And real quick for anyone who's been in a coma since the Eagles whipped the Chiefs in the Superdome last February, let me get you up to speed. Cam Ward went first overall in the draft, but then was never heard from again because he went to the Titans, who may or may not be an actual football team, but instead a sigh-off to see if a self-proclaimed football fan out there is actually paying attention. And people got real, real upset Dion Sanders kid didn't get drafted where they decided he should have been drafted. And another first round QB went to Nola and ended up winning rookie of the year. But the Steelers had no need to get a QB because they already had signed an old man to play sports most important position, while the Seahawks signed a journeyman QB. The Cowboys traded Mike into the Packers, and then the season kicked off. When the champs beat Dak, then the Raiders beat the Patriots in Foxborough. And Derek Henry fumbled and Allen beat Lamar on Sunday night in what was sure to be a preview of a more important showdown come January. And J.J. McCarthy made KOC look smart with a big rally against Caleb Williams and Chicago. Meantime, the former first-round QB who'd left Minnesota in the offseason was rolling in his latest NFL home. Yeah, in case you forgot, at one point, Danny Dimes had the Colts at 8 and 2. While Mahomes wasn't playing so well, but no worries, you think they're going to miss the playoffs? They're the Chiefs. And speaking to QB, some people got real excited about Baker Mayfield for MVP until they lost that enthusiasm just before Bake lost out on the NFC South to the Panthers. Yeah, the Carolina Panthers. And Jalen Hertz was mad, and A.J. Brown complained and Nick Siriani made a face and Phil Rivers played some games

Phil Rivers played

some games. Phil Rivers! And the Jets were the Jets and the Browns were the Browns and the Steelers

traded away a talented receiver who wouldn't behave, then traded for a talented receiver

who punched a fan. And Caleb and the Bears got good playing with the Lions Johnson and Stafford's

back held up long enough for him to hold up the MVP

trophy. Then Casey actually did miss the playoffs and Mahomes tore his knee, but at least Kelsey got

down on his knee. Then the playoffs started and a bunch of teams that didn't make him fired their

coaches and Strouds stunk and Josh Allen played badly in Denver, but that was okay because everybody

decided to show their boundless empathy

by feeling bad for a multi-millionaire, married to a Hollywood starlet.

And then they showed the depth of their emotional well by crying about it snowing at a football

game.

Then the last chapter of the current season was interrupted by an outpouring even more

histrionic anger over a failing ACC coach not getting a gold jacket.

And half the country cried

about a halftime show, I. Ai, oh, Sig and Yalando. And then another former first round

QB who'd left Minnesota in the offseason enrolled in his latest NFL home by beating a member

of the 24 QB class, which is already in contention for best QB class ever, and won a Lombardi before any of

his MVP win in draft classmates even reached a Super Bowl. Long story short, we end where we started

with Josh Allen, Lamar Jackson, Justin Herbert, and Joe Burrow-Lombardy list, and now an offseason

devoted to hearing the phrase, defense wins championships. Let's start the show.

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