Today is my son's 40th birthday, which I didn't think I would be spending it in a visit

with him in jail, but I usually try to spend his birthday with him.

It's November 11th, 2015.

J.J.'s mom Maria is driving to see him at Sincsing.

We're lucky this year he has a visit today, so I'm on my way to visit him and wish him

happy birthday.

I just wish it was on the different circumstances, but we'll just keep pushing forth.

It's been one year since J.J. sent me that devastating letter, the one he'd written at four in

the morning and despair after finding out a judge had denied his request for a hearing.

That letter was a turning point for me.

I knew that something had changed in my relationship with J.J.

When I read it, I was afraid for him.

My date line story about J.J. had already aired and there wasn't another one planned,

but I was more committed than ever to keep going.

After the judge's denial, J.J.'s lawyers filed an appeal.

As J.J. waited, time was passing.

By his 40th birthday, he'd been locked up for nearly 18 years.

Maria says over time, it's gotten harder to visit him.

Actually, my visits have gotten less and less. I don't like seeing him there.

He's gotten old.

And every time I see him, it hurts.

And when I think about the fact that he's lost all those years,

...