I've got about 10 seconds to tell you about how you can get two for one tickets for Top Draw comedy nights near you

Thanks to our friends at the TV channel Dave at AbsoluteRadio.co.uk

Also, I've got to tell you about how you can win a five-night trip to the New York comedy festival while you're there too

Bird, I've run out of time

Absolute, Absolute, Radio

Frank Skinner, on Absolute Radio

This is Frank Skinner, on Absolute Radio, with Emily Dean and Alan Cochran

Mornings, those two characters, those two jokers

I think it's crossed

Yeah, we're up

I used to have one of those stop police action, I thought they were called

They used to show, these videos called something police action

Oh, was that the short-tailer one?

No, they started using celebrity voice offers, but they used to use actual policemen at first

And they used to say things like, a quiet afternoon on Dad and a My Street

Until this character arrived

What's this clown up to?

That's right, really forever

Anyway, you don't want to hear about that, Nonsense

I was actually shocked that Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise are going to get divorced

Oh, why are you?

I was genuinely shocked, I thought

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