And I felt very much like there's this spotlight on me and I have failed to carry my child

and I'm going to fail to represent God well in this.

My faith is going to look flawed because I am hurting.

And what I discovered was that it was in being vulnerable and in saying I don't understand

and this hurts and this is painful, but I'm just going to lean into God and know that

he can, you know, even if this is all I can give him, you know, just this little bit

that that's going to be my constant in this chaos.

And I think that's actually what with my story sort of bound people together and saying

I don't have all the answers and I don't understand, you know, this and that's okay too,

you know, because God's big enough to stay constant in all of my questions.

You're listening to episode 78 of the God Center Mom Podcast and today I'm chatting

with Kayla Amy, author of the book Anchored.

In that book Kayla shares the story of having her daughter Scarlett at 25 weeks gestation,

just a pound and a half about the size of six, six of butter.

Kayla walked, she and her husband walked through the journey of their daughter being in

the NICU for six months.

And all those events are tragic and you hear them and how does someone survive that?

How does a faith hold in the midst of that?

And I will tell you, I got an early copy of this book and Kayla can write a funny book

in spite of tragedy and I was laughing out loud and it's still, you're crying the next

minute.

It is so well written.

...