The last three talks of this year are under the umbrella of what I call the Gateway of

Love, and this is the middle section in True Refuge, which is my book that's coming out next month.

And so the last talk we did was on self-forgiveness, and tonight we'll be exploring letting go of blame,

opening our heart in forgiveness and acceptance of others. And it's a topic that I try to

visit as regularly as I can, because I have found that in our relationships with each other,

whether it's overt, hostility, or very subtle levels of resentment and blame, it's what creates

distance. So that's where we'll be going tonight. I got an email from one person that listens to

the podcast, and he was describing, watching, an improv group many years ago, and afterwards the

people in the group were sharing some of their secrets, their trade secrets, and they described how

one principle they operated by was no matter what anybody threw your way, no matter how much it

seemed to derail or be kind of offbeat or even irritating, that their basic principle was to go with it,

to accept it and to respond from that. And they described that when they didn't oppose or kind of

get jolted by what another person threw their way, they actually had this resourcefulness that was

much more creative and spontaneous and fun. They kept the flow of the evening going. And so I was

really struck by that, how in a moment of judgment, when we're caught in that sense of you're doing

something wrong, you're bad, we lose access to that creativity and spontaneity. It's like the

aperture of what we are has narrowed. We have less access. So I love that. In a way, we're doing

improv in life because life doesn't cooperate. Have you noticed? I mean people don't act the way we

want them to or expect them to, and of course we don't either, but always through our day,

through our weeks, things don't go our way. And so there's this inquiry of what's our stance and how

do we respond? Can we do a little more of what these improv actors are suggesting? And it can seem

very idealistic to say, you know, and somebody treats us in a way that really is hurtful to accept

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