Finding harmony in the midst of chaos

Garrison Keillor's Podcast

Prairie Home Productions

Society & Culture, Fiction, Comedy Fiction, Improv, Comedy

4.8 • 1.1K Ratings

🗓️ 30 December 2023

⏱️ 7 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

I don’t belong in New York, I’m a loner, I have the social skills of a hoot owl, but I accept the amusement that the city offers. I saw a dog on the subway with earbuds on and I asked the guy holding the leash what the dog was listening to and he said, “Those are hearing aids.” But he said it sort of sarcastically. You get a lot of irony in New York. So I asked my audiologist if there is such a thing as veterinary audiology and she said, “I think so because there is a hearing test for animals but I think it’s a branch of neurology.” She didn’t seem to want to delve into it.

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Transcript

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0:00.0	I flew into New York last week into JFK, which would not be my choice, but that's where the plane landed.
0:22.0	LaGuardia has been remade into landed. If K is an obstacle course to find out if you really, really want to come to New York or if you
0:37.6	might rather go to Cleveland.
0:39.7	The Statue of Liberty says give me your huddled masses yearning to breathe free and that's JFK
0:47.0	huddled masses yearning to claim their baggage and find a taxi. Your best strategy in dismal circumstances is
0:58.8	militant cheerfulness. You say thank you and God bless you to anyone who holds a door for you or
1:08.0	lets you pass. You ask the taxi starter how he's doing today you address the cabby as my friend and it
1:19.2	really does brighten your day I don't belong in New York, I'm a loner, I have the social skills of a hoot owl, but I accept
1:30.0	the amusement that the city offers. I saw a dog. the holding the leash, what the dog was listening to, and he said those are hearing aids.
1:47.1	But he said it sort of sarcastically, you get a lot of irony in New York so I asked my audiologist if there is such a thing
1:57.8	as veterinary audiology and she said I think so because there is a hearing test for animals, but I think it's a branch of neurology.
2:10.0	She didn't seem to want to delve into this in detail.
2:15.0	As I stood there on the corner of West 74th in Central Park West, I saw a woman with a little white dog on an odd leash that
2:29.4	had two loops, one around each front leg, a sort of orthopedic leash with which she helped the dog stand upright
2:39.1	and walk.
2:41.0	I was going to ask, but I didn't know how to phrase the question, so I headed for the subway
2:48.0	stop at 72nd in Central Park West, where John Lennon was shot on that corner, 1980.
2:57.8	I still feel anger in his behalf, he being two years older than I, he having been cheated of 43 years of walking
3:08.5	around Central Park and noticing things. The bastard who shot him wasn't just crazy, he was evil. I don't
3:19.2	want to think about evil. I forced myself to read about the Hamas terrorist attacks on the kibbutzum in Israel,
3:30.0	the casual slaughter of defenseless persons, women, children, infants, the brutality, the
3:38.3	raping, the capture of civilian hostages.
	...

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