This is NPR's Life Kit.

Queerness doesn't really come with a road map.

Maybe you saw this episode in your feed and listened because you're hoping for one.

Maybe you're interested in dating queer people for the first time, or really starting to fall for your first queer partner.

Maybe you're still thinking to yourself, should I even start dating?

These are the types of questions people ask as they're coming into their queer selves.

So let's start with some advice from someone who's been navigating their queer identity for decades, and who had their own aha moment.

I didn't identify at all as a trans-fem person, which I am now.

In fact, actually, I wanted to tattoo, and I put it in my hand so it's in people's face. Can you read it?

The future is Fem.

Thank you.

This is Renee and Parado, a proud trans woman from New York City who's lived her life fighting for the rights of others.

Her queer epiphany happened over 50 years ago.

I started seeing a few calf muscles.

And a few bare ankles.

And you know, something started here.

So I guess by the time I was maybe 22, it emerged.

So I started talking to this girl, and I kinda asked her out.

I was 23 years old.

She was 19.

And you know what her response was to me?

I'm not going out with you, you old thing.

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