Feeling Guilty Can Be A Good Sign

Love Over Addiction

Michelle Anderson

Society & Culture, Wifeofanalcoholic, Codependency, Relationships, Recovery, Alanon

4.8 • 1.5K Ratings

🗓️ 10 November 2019

⏱️ 5 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Growing up, weren’t we all taught that when we feel guilty about something, that’s our conscience telling us we’ve done something ‘wrong’?

I know I was. So when I was married to a good man suffering from addiction, dealing with feelings of guilt was hard, because I assumed I was in the wrong.

Here’s the thing though: addiction doesn’t play by the rules. All those ‘helpful’ tips and tools out there don’t apply to us, and our relationships, because we love someone suffering from addiction.

Addiction breaks rules, lies, manipulates, and is aggressive.

Well, I have a different idea: feeling guilty can actually be a good sign that you’re doing the right thing, and that you’re on the right path. Don’t worry, I’ll explain everything in today’s episode.

Find more here: https://loveoveraddiction.com/feeling-guilty-is-a-sign/

Join your community: https://loveoveraddiction.com

Connect personally: https://www.instagram.com/love_over_addiction/

Transcript

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0:00.0	You're listening to the Love Over Addiction Podcast. Last week I talked about anger and why it appears in our lives. I said that anger served as a warning sign that something
0:26.1	isn't quite right. It's a call to action for change. And even though the calling might seem scary if we want to feel better it's not
0:37.4	about them getting sober it's about rising to our purpose. It's about changing ourselves if they get sober or not.
0:47.0	Only then, once we have used the opportunity of addiction to become our very best version will we find the freedom
0:58.1	and joy we're desperately looking for. But what happens when we do the work and make the difficult choices that will affect
1:06.7	our relationship with our loved ones? We feel guilty. We may feel we are abandoning them or causing them to drink or use drugs even more.
1:18.5	We may even feel in some way responsible for their recovery. There are a dozen reasons why we allow
1:26.2	feelings of guilt to keep us stuck in our own pain. It could be because we are too afraid to make our wants and needs important.
1:36.0	It could be because we are scared to upset the ones we love and being liked is more important than loving and respecting ourselves.
1:47.1	It could be because we've allowed addiction to manipulate and intimidate us for so long.
1:52.4	Defending it would be to stand up to addiction
1:56.4	and therefore standing up for ourselves.
2:00.1	Or maybe we would just like to hide behind their addiction.
2:03.4	It's super convenient to place all the blame for our unhappiness on someone else,
2:10.0	making us the victim and handing our power over to somebody else.
2:17.0	Whatever your reasons are for feeling guilty, here's my advice and it is super simple. Even if you feel guilty, do it anyways. Push through. Guilt is an indicator that you are making hard necessary decisions.
2:39.0	Now obviously that statement doesn't apply to narcissists or self-centered people, but you, my love, are the opposite of self-centered.
2:51.0	You are a giver, and it's time to start giving to yourself. So just to recap,
2:57.0	anger is a calling that we need to take action. Guilt is a sign that we are rising to the occasion
3:07.5	and making tough choices with our loved ones
3:10.3	who are suffering from addiction. Both emotions are good.
3:15.0	Both are gifts.
	...

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