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Hi, this is Jimmy Evans with Mary's today.

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As a young boy, I was taller than my second grade teacher and that might sound

good but it wasn't good I was I was really really really tall and I a, my tooth knocked out and I had a cap on there, my brother

staming and Lucifer. They, they called me Bucky the Silver Tooth Beaver.

And I had several things that happened to me when I was a young boy that scarred me, you know.

And I never had a problem with girls, and I never had a problem with anybody.

But internally, I felt like a freak. There was just a message inside of

me that happened to me when I was about maybe a second or third grade, but

internally there was something inside of me I always thought of myself as a freak and I had

tremendous amount of fear and rather I didn't know how to deal with it and so rather

than dealing with it in the passive sense of just being fearful and carrying down, I just had my guard up all the time.

You know, I would stick out my chest and stick out my chin and just dare you.

I would, that's the way I grew up thought all the time is because if you

cross me you know but I was masking fears. Karen's fears were rejection

disconnection disconnecting from her being devalued, failure, and abuse.

...