In some ways, a lot of the book is maybe my own version of externalizing my anxieties or trying to frame them, tell the story, and feel it's manageable by virtue of being able to turn it into a story, I suppose.

Welcome to the unspeakiezy. I'm your host, Megan Dahl. Last May, I did a substack live

conversation with writer and editor Thomas Beller. The audience loved it, and I am so happy to bring

Tom back for an official podcast interview, just in time for the publication of a new

collection of essays called

De Gaat at the gas station.

The essays cover a lot of territory, but are especially concerned with Tom's experience

of fatherhood and the ways his own fatherhood functions as an added dimension to his childhood.

Tom, who grew up in New York City in the 1970s and 80s, lost his father just before his

10th birthday. His father was 42 when he died, which is the age Tom was when he became a father.

With his wife, Elizabeth, who's also a writer, Tom raised his kids partly in New York City

in the same apartment he grew up in with his mother,

a documentary filmmaker, who's now in her 90s. And the family also spent a lot of time in New

Orleans, where Tom teaches at Tulane University. I should say that Tom and I have known each other

for a long time. He was a co-founder of Open City, a literary magazine and book publisher that published

my first book, my misspent youth, which you'll hear us refer to here. This is a lovely conversation,

and it is my great pleasure to bring it to you. Thomas Beller, welcome to the unspeakeasy podcast.

So nice to be here. Thank you.

I think the only time we have talked officially for this podcast was you did a live stream with me for the, I'm not going to say short-lived unspeak Easy

live, but I was very ambitious for a period of time. I thought I was going to do it not once,

but twice a week. And then that proved difficult and unsatisfying. But we had a great conversation.

The audience absolutely loved it. They were just delighted to hear people

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