Now listen to Father Knows Best, transcribed starring Robert Young as Father.

Welcome to Springfield, and another half-hour visit with the folks in the White Framehouse

on Maple Street.

Sit back and enjoy life with the ambises,

Kathy, Bud, Betty, Margaret, and Jim.

As the head of this typical American household again sets out to prove that Father Knows Best.

There comes a time in every boy's life when he begins to feel that his

britches are getting a touch too small for him, and at a high time he

dons a more worldly pair of trousers.

In the White Framehouse on Maple Street, young but endless and has of late

and feeling the pinch of his present existence, and has his eye on a more expanded life.

He feels the need of such things as, well, for example, things like this.

Mom, yes, bud, what is it?

Can I get a flat top?

Now, what in the world is a flat top?

A haircut. Sort of like a butcher, but not a cat.

You mean where they shave your head?

They don't shave you. Well, what they do is...

Absolutely not.

But mom, they don't...

The answer is no.

Holy cow, you treat me as if I were a kid.

...