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The Overwhelmed Brain

Failing the Challenge - Silent Abuse in Relationships - Depressed and Unmotivated - Appreciating What Works

The Overwhelmed Brain

Paul Colaianni: Emotional Abuse and Relationship Expert

Mental Health, Education, Health & Fitness, Self-improvement

4.52K Ratings

🗓️ 26 March 2017

⏱️ 74 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

What do you do when you face a challenge you believe you're prepared for, but you fail instead? The feelings of failure can be debilitating, especially when you've spent a lot of time and energy working on self-improvement. It can feel like you've taken 10 steps backwards. "Learning" comes with the challenge of applying what you've learned, so expect challenges to be just more than you think you're prepared for. When you have the tools, the challenge will come. I believed I knew how to honor my boundaries until I was tested with the right person. Always move forward and learn about yourself and work on yourself so that you will be as prepared as you can be. In segment two, I address the people's pleaser's role in becoming emotionally abused. People pleasers often have a big heart, compassion, generosity and are often kind and caring, which opens them up to abusive people unfortunately. If you're kind and compassionate but made to feel guilty by your partner often, then you're probably in an emotionally abusive relationship. There are many signs of emotional abuse including trusting yourself less and less. If your partner is emotionally detached, or you feel like you're going crazy, this segment is for you. Especially if you can't pinpoint why you feel the way you do. Manipulators are crafty and adept. They don't want to feel pain, guilt or responsible, so they push all of it on to you. If you want to learn if you are in an emotionally abusive relationship, check out the Emotional Abuse worksheet at theoverwhelmedbrain.com/mean. In segment three, I read a letter from a young man who is depressed and has no motivation to do anything. His emotions are out of control and he is in a constant struggle. On top of all of that, he's afraid to get help! He's never talked about my feelings to anyone, ever. All the solutions he's looked for online talk about getting a goal and using his willpower which he found completely useless. The first step to getting past what you can't let go of is to express yourself any way possible, whether it's with a friend or loved one, or even to yourself through writing or visualization (imagining the person you want to express yourself to is standing in front of you). Once you get repressed negative emotions off your chest, it can free you a bit to start the healing process. In the closing, I talk about what you can do to appreciate your body and what it does for you. Sometimes it takes pain to appreciate what works! Today's episode is brought to you by getoutofthemess.com. Quality legal insurance - get your legal questions answered by one of many attorneys that specialize in what you're asking about for about $20 a month! Great deal.

Transcript

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0:00.0

You are listening to the overwhelmed brain.

0:02.6

Today's episode is brought to you by get out of the mess.com.

0:05.8

Let Asha, your legal shield associate connect you to a legal insurance plan that's right for you.

0:11.0

Quality attorneys at established law firms for about $20 a month.

0:15.0

No way, that's so affordable.

0:16.0

Are you annoyed by affirmations?

0:18.0

Are you tired of that same old rehashed personal growth advice that all seems to boil down to,

0:25.0

think positively and all your problems will go away.

0:29.0

If affirmations feel like lies and positive thinking feels like denial, then I want you to get ready.

0:35.8

The overwhelmed brain is here to help you create the life you want now. Now.

0:43.0

Hello, this is Paul Kolyani, personal empowerment coach, and host of this show called The Overwhelmed Brain.

0:59.0

This is the Personal Growth Show for the Critical Thinker, and a lot of other types of thinkers too.

1:05.3

On every episode we'll talk about practical down to earth steps to help you improve your

1:10.3

mood and keep you sane in this powerful journey we call life.

1:14.6

I want to help you bridge the gap between your emotions and reason,

1:18.1

causing you to discover why you do the things you do and what you can do to reach

1:22.1

higher levels of happiness and lower

1:24.0

levels of stress and overwhelm. Everything I talk about on this show should not be

1:27.8

mistaken for actual medical advice or treatment and is intended for

1:30.9

informational and educational purposes only.

1:33.3

Always consult a physician before making any changes to your medical treatment.

1:37.3

What you'll find here is an increase in your emotional intelligence,

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