Esther Calling - What If I Break Up With My Dad?

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel

Esther Perel Global Media

Mental Health, Society & Culture, Self-improvement, Education, Health & Fitness

4.7 • 15.6K Ratings

🗓️ 3 June 2024

⏱️ 54 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Esther takes a question from a young woman struggling with her relationship with her father. A recent divorce and the slow reveal of an affair on the part of her father has ruptured the family- and leaves her questioning whether or not her father should continue to have a role in her life. Esther Callings are a one time, 45-60 minute interventional phone call with Esther. They are edited for time, clarity, and anonymity. If you have a question you would like to talk through with Esther, send a voice memo to [email protected]. Want to learn more? Receive monthly insights, musings, and recommendations to improve your relational intelligence via email from Esther: https://www.estherperel.com/newsletter Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	My relationship with my father has always been fraught. He has been a father that has
0:06.8	provided everything that I needed except emotional support.
0:16.0	Often he'd have these big blow-ups
0:20.0	over something that I did as a child that was small,
0:26.7	usually things that warrant corrective behavior from a parent, but never anything that would make a parent yell or scream and speak so negatively about a child.
0:35.0	I have struggled with those negative feelings about myself
0:40.0	because of the things that he said to me.
0:43.0	I have struggled with anxiety.
0:45.0	After this endless pursuit of trying to keep the peace between him and I,
0:51.0	I've had to go to therapy, I've had to go to therapy.
0:53.9	I've had to get on medication to help cope
0:56.8	with the anxiety that I have struggled with,
0:59.8	stemming from our relationship.
1:02.2	Recently, my father had an affair and is divorcing my mother
1:05.6	after being married for 30 years and that was the only family that I had and
1:11.0	now that he is starting a life with his affair partner.
1:15.8	He is trying to establish a relationship with me outside of my mom.
1:20.4	And I'm having a hard time overcoming the past trauma in the current trauma that he is
1:26.7	inflicting as he takes no accountability for his actions and how they impact me instead
1:32.3	saying that this marriage is not any of our
1:35.8	business as kids. I don't know how to proceed with him and I'm not quite sure if I
1:40.4	want to and I struggle with a great amount of guilt for not wanting to go on and
	...

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