Esther Calling - To Forgive My Ex-Husband I Need to Forgive Myself First

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel

Esther Perel Global Media

Mental Health, Society & Culture, Self-improvement, Education, Health & Fitness

4.7 • 15.6K Ratings

🗓️ 31 March 2025

⏱️ 49 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Esther talks with a young divorcée about the challenges of co-parenting with her ex-husband while wrestling with feelings of anger and frustration. They explore the impact of her past traumas and the difficulties in communication that have led to this strained relationship and how to evolve for the sake of her kids. Esther Callings are a one time, 45-60 minute interventional phone call with Esther. They are edited for time, clarity, and anonymity. If you have a question you would like to talk through with Esther, send a voice memo to [email protected]. Want to learn more? Receive monthly insights, musings, and recommendations to improve your relational intelligence via email from Esther: https://www.estherperel.com/newsletter Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hello.
0:01.0	Hi.
0:02.0	Hi, hi.
0:03.0	Shall we listen to your question first and then you can add anything that you say, should
0:09.0	have added that, should have maybe mentioned this?
0:12.0	Shall we start with the listening together?
0:15.0	Let's do that, yeah.
0:16.0	Okay, let's do that.
0:19.0	So my situation is me and my ex-husband, we decided to divorce four years ago.
0:28.2	We have two kids together.
0:29.8	Right now, they're five and seven.
0:31.9	Right after we decided to divorce, like, the same week that we ever uttered that word, like we never said
0:40.0	that word before. The same week, he started into a very serious relationship with a woman.
0:47.9	He eventually married, and they're together now. He actually lived with me for six months while he was dating her.
0:57.7	So after we decided to break up, they started dating, and then he moved out of the house six months later.
1:03.7	I think because of that, it created a dynamic in which the woman was inherently threatened by me, like our marriage and their relationship
1:14.0	essentially overlapped. It never gave me and my ex-husband an opportunity to kind of process
1:19.7	our relationship and to start that healing journey. In addition to that, I have not been allowed
1:27.3	to talk to my ex-husband.
1:29.7	It's part of the rules that we, basically, we can never privately communicate ever about anything,
1:36.0	even about the kids.
1:37.7	I just don't know how we're ever going to heal for the kids.
	...

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