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Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel

Esther Calling - Part of Me Wants to Cheat Part One

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel

Esther Perel Global Media

Mental Health, Society & Culture, Self-improvement, Education, Health & Fitness

4.715.6K Ratings

🗓️ 22 January 2024

⏱️ 49 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

This episode contains discussions of a sexual trauma. Please take care listening. A woman in a healthy and loving relationship talks to Esther about the fantasies she has of cheating on her partner. Together they delve into whether these are truly adulterous thoughts or if this voice in her head is connected to the unresolved shame and trauma from an earlier sexual assault. Esther Callings are a one time, 45-60 minute interventional phone call with Esther. They are edited for time, clarity, and anonymity. If you have a question you would like to talk through with Esther, send a voice memo to [email protected]. Want to learn more? Receive monthly insights, musings, and recommendations to improve your relational intelligence via email from Esther: https://www.estherperel.com/newsletter Please take this survey to help us plan for the future: estherperel.com/survey Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

In this

0:02.0

in this following session, we discuss sexual assault,

0:07.0

and I want you to know about intrusive thoughts in a relationship.

0:20.0

So I've been in a relationship for over two years now and this person is amazing.

0:26.5

He's super romantic, finding you really smart and I truly like love this person. However, I am truly like love this person.

0:33.0

However, I am constantly dealing with this internal voice in my head that tells me like I should cheat on him and it's really really getting hard to in a way

0:48.0

ignore the voice or to shut it up I guess I've never acted on this it's just an intrusive thought

0:56.2

that pops up every month or so I'd say and I guess my question is, will this internal voice ever shut up or do I have to live with it

1:09.0

throughout the life of this relationship. Support for where should we begin comes from Solire.

1:25.0

Solire is a supplement brand that I use and I trust.

1:29.0

Their new line, Her Life Stages, includes a powerful perimenopose formula and it can help hot flashes,

1:37.0

night sweats, mood, and sleep.

1:39.8

Visit Solare.com slash Esther 20% on this and any stages formula.

1:49.0

These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA and the product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.

1:58.0

What you are about to hear is actually a little request. We need your help and it will only take a couple of minutes of your time to answer a few questions about where should we begin and you. If you would go to Estherparrel.com

2:16.6

slash survey and tell us a little more about how you experience this podcast. We would be really grateful and in fact it will help

2:25.2

to make the show stronger. It'll also let us know the kind of things you want to hear Esther speak to. Again that's Esther Perel.com slash survey. We'll also add a link to that survey to the

2:38.4

show notes of this episode you're listening to right now so you can do it afterwards.

2:42.4

And thank you so much. Hey, hey, how are you? Good, good, and yourself. I'm good. What led you to send in your question?

3:09.0

Um, I've been like trying to talk about this with someone for a couple years now and

3:20.0

someone as a therapist?

3:22.0

Yeah, so a therapist and then also like friends and family.

...

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