Esther Calling - Never Been In a Long Term Relationship, Scared I Don't Know How To Do This

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel

Esther Perel Global Media

Mental Health, Society & Culture, Self-improvement, Education, Health & Fitness

4.7 • 15.6K Ratings

🗓️ 30 June 2025

⏱️ 48 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

He's 42 and is in his first real relationship. And he's panicking. He's afraid he doesn't know how to be in a true romantic partnership. With Esther's help, he explores how his past has contributed to his fears of intimacy and abandonment. Topic: Dating & Romantic Consumerism Esther Callings are a one time, 45-60 minute interventional phone call with Esther. They are edited for time, clarity, and anonymity. If you have a question you would like to talk through with Esther, send a voice memo to [email protected]. Want to learn more? Receive monthly insights, musings, and recommendations to improve your relational intelligence via email from Esther: https://www.estherperel.com/newsletter Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hi Esther. I am 42 years old and I've never really been in a real romantic relationship.
0:06.0	About one half month ago I met this very nice guy who was in a polyamorous relationship
0:12.0	and we have started dating and now we are in a relationship as well.
0:17.0	Everything is very nice. We have a very nice communication. I feel very safe with him. He's lovely.
0:24.0	We have fun. And yet, I feel this constant panic. There's this constant panic inside of me.
0:33.1	And I don't understand why. Like when he sends a text saying, can I ask you something, I feel scared that this will be bad news.
0:42.5	I feel like, oh, now something bad is going to happen.
0:45.7	It never does.
0:46.6	It's always a nice conversation.
0:48.5	Whenever I have a question, I can ask him and he always replies in a nice way.
0:53.6	So I have no clue what is going on but I do feel
0:57.2	that this panic is getting in the way of exploring this relationship and that it might sabotage
1:04.1	it which I don't want. So I hope you can help me figure out what is going on. Thank you.
1:25.6	Avoiding your unfinished home projects because you're not sure where to start.
1:27.8	Thumbtack knows homes, so you don't have to.
1:30.8	Don't know the difference between matte paint finish and satin,
1:34.1	or what that clunking sound from your dryer is.
1:37.1	With Thumbtack, you don't have to be a home pro.
1:39.8	You just have to hire one.
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1:45.9	on the app. Download today. Ironhard has arrived on Disney Plus.
1:51.3	What is going all with you? From Marvel Television, an executive producer Ryan Coogler.
	...

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