I'm 36 I'm 36 and about to start family therapy with my mom and dad in hopes of finding some healing and

doing some repair work on a relationship. My question is, what does one do when

harm has been caused in a relationship and you know you're most likely not going to get the

apologies you need or the repair that's needed to feel fully okay in that relationship. My dad kept a strong authoritarian parenting

style, lots of lectures, lots of tone policing, and my mom was a bit more

passive. The result was that I rarely felt in control of myself.

I didn't have a voice, I didn't feel valued.

And now as a 36 year old adult, not much has changed in our dynamic. I see the ways this has affected

my own relationships and the way I move through the world and I'm working to heal and grow

from that. Part of my growth ideally is to be able to bring this history of harm to my parents and say,

when these events happened, this was the impact and this is the type of repair work I need to do with you to feel okay in this relationship.

But what do I do when that hasn't been successful in the past and it seems clear that I might never get the apologies or the

repair that I feel I need. I don't want to cut ties with my parents but I also

need to get to a place where I feel enough peace to be in relationship with them. Support for where should we begin comes from Amber.

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