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Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel

Esther Calling - I Crossed a Line I Never Thought I Would Cross

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel

Esther Perel Global Media

Mental Health, Society & Culture, Self-improvement, Education, Health & Fitness

4.715.6K Ratings

🗓️ 7 August 2023

⏱️ 29 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

What happens when you transgress the one boundary you never thought you would? In this week's Esther Calling, Esther talks to a woman who began an emotional affair after 10 years with her partner. She has since found herself alone and devastated by her own actions, unable to forgive herself or move on from the pain that she caused. Esther Callings are a one time, 45-60 minute interventional phone call with Esther. They are edited for time, clarity, and anonymity. If you have a question you would like to talk through with Esther, send a voice memo to [email protected]. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

How can I tell the person that I'm with, that I always said I wouldn't have an affair,

0:09.6

that I had an affair, and then expect her to stay with me?

0:13.9

Oh, forgive me, forgive my self.

0:20.6

Do you have something that you have done, for which you are stuck, that you can't come

0:27.3

to terms with how you see yourself and how you act it?

0:32.2

Where the gap between yourself image and your behavior feels irreconcilable.

0:39.5

It sometimes is an affair for some people and other things for others.

0:57.3

The question is, I had an affair while I was with my ex of 10 years and I guess I'm really

1:14.5

stuck.

1:15.8

My question is, how do I possibly forgive myself except to move on?

1:20.7

It is four years on.

1:22.3

How do I move on from older what ifs?

1:25.2

Or if I didn't have an affair, we'll still be together.

1:32.1

How do I meet, please, with the fact that my ex is with the person that I had an affair

1:36.1

with?

1:37.1

Oh, the plot Dickens, tell me more, clarify it a little bit for me, please.

1:45.1

It was a mutual friend, all friends, and like any relationship, there's easy and hard

1:52.4

times, and the hard times was really, really hard, and this friend became my soundboard,

2:00.6

became the person I spoke to, and we just became closer and closer.

2:05.9

This friend then became an emotional flirt, I guess, flirt friend, and over a couple of

2:12.6

years it just became more serious.

2:16.2

I then left my ex and this friend that was interested in, you know, alluded to possibilities

...

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