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Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel

Esther Calling - Four Affairs, Four Divorces. Why Do I Keep Doing This?

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel

Esther Perel Global Media

Mental Health, Society & Culture, Self-improvement, Education, Health & Fitness

4.715.6K Ratings

🗓️ 17 June 2024

⏱️ 58 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Four affairs and four divorces later, she is searching for answers as to why she can’t stop leaving in such an abrupt way. Despite longing for a life partner, she questions her ability to maintain a healthy and stable relationship. Esther seeks to uncover the root of these issues and help her forge a new path forward as she embarks on what she hopes is her final relationship. Esther Callings are a one-time, 45-60 minute interventional phone call with Esther. They are edited for time, clarity, and anonymity. If you have a question you would like to talk through with Esther, send a voice memo to [email protected]. Want to learn more? Receive monthly insights, musings, and recommendations to improve your relational intelligence via email from Esther: https://www.estherperel.com/newsletter Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

You know I've been reflecting on my past relationship. I've been thinking about all the challenges I faced and despite my desire for a stable fulfilling partnership I find myself repeating patterns that have led to pain and failure.

0:20.0

I've been married four times and 46 now and each marriage ended in divorce.

0:27.4

In my first marriage I experienced physical abuse and in my third emotional abuse.

0:33.0

My second and fourth husbands, they were good men,

0:37.0

for my deeply respected, and yet I still betrayed their trust through infidelity.

0:42.0

I ended all my marriages by cheating on my

0:46.4

husbands. I was not happy in my sexual life with any of them until my current relationship

0:57.3

which is with a married man who became my affair three and a half years ago when I decided to quit my fourth marriage.

1:08.3

Now he is on the way out of his marriage and it kind of gets serious between us and I feel that I start to create problems for us because as I understand myself I fear to make this

1:28.2

relationship serious because I'm afraid that I will step into the same pattern as I had before.

1:35.0

Despite my longing for a life partner, I question really my ability to maintain a healthy and stable relationship and I question why I

1:47.0

ended all my relationships before by cheating.

2:03.2

Support for where should we begin comes from Solire. Solire is a supplement brand that I use and I trust.

2:07.4

Their new line, her life stages, includes a powerful perimenopose formula and it can help hot flashes, night sweats, mood and sleep.

2:17.5

Visit solace.com slash ester and use aster 20 to save 20%

2:24.0

on this and any stages formula.

2:27.0

These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA

2:30.0

and the product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.

2:39.0

First thing in the morning, as soon as you wake up the to do list starts.

2:43.6

Does the car need gas? Hopefully those leftovers are still good.

2:46.6

Why did I could see seat call mom?

2:48.6

No. You can't escape the to do list but you can make the most of your me

...

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