How do you pass up the opportunity to spit blood and Joan Baez's face?

I've read Mark Twain. I've read Huckleberry Finn. I think I earned the right to go out of the internet and see a guy get a chainsaw on the face. Dude, my dad was drunk and my mom was dealing with it. Guess what? I get raised by a cookie monster.

My con looks like it's been in a hockey flage. Time is stupidity. It's at the speed of goddamn light.

I got a bunch of the clocks.

Hey, what's happened?

I'm Mike Schmidt, 40-year-old boy podcast.

Folks, you can probably hear it.

I'm not going to fool you.

So I'm going to go ahead and just get it out of the way right now.

Because I know you can hear it. Right now it's going through your earbuds because nobody listens to me outside.

Everybody hears me with earbuds.

They always plug into their iPods or their Zoons.

Who's got a Zoom out there?

Who's listening to me on a goddamn Zoom?

We got to talk.

If you got a Zoom, contact me because I have an old iPod.

I will send you.

I think I have an iPod four laying around here somewhere. I actually found, you know, when I was doing the rebirth and I found my house,

well, I found things in my house, I discovered an old school, like the first iPod ever.

Like, I'm, I, the white one with the click wheel and all that shit.

I, did I throw it away?

I don't know if I did.

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