Hello and welcome to the Love Honor and Vacuum podcast. I am Sheila Ray Greguar from the To Love Honor and

Vacuum blog where we like to talk about how to make marriage a

passionate adventure and not just a giant to-do list. And this week I have not been

thinking about the blog. I have to admit that because we are working literally 12 to 14

hours a day trying to get the manuscript finished for the our book The Great Sex Rescue which is due in at the

publisher on Friday and so it's been quite the last few weeks we've been super busy.

But last Friday I wrote a post that I didn't really think about that much. I just sat down and

wrote it on Friday morning about the Gatekeeper phenomenon and that got so many comments that I thought

it might be good to do our podcast on it today.

So I brought Rebecca on our podcast.

Hello.

And I thought that we could summarize kind of what we were talking about there and then explain

why we think this is such a big deal because we found this

lot we've been talking about this in the book although people will have to wait a year to buy our

book.

Yeah exactly.

It will be out spring of 2021 the the Great Sex Rescue.

But one of the things that we found was that when women

feel like they have to be the gatekeeper that can affect how you experience sex when you're

married and and what do you explain what I mean by gatekeeper?

When we talk about gatekeeper what we're talking about is how one person feels the responsibility to make sure sex doesn't happen when you're dating.

Right? So we get told as girls growing up in evangelical culture that boys are going to try to push your boundaries, you have to make sure you don't go too far,

...