This is Hidden Brain, I'm Shankar Vedantam.

Many of us feel we are not leading the lives we were meant to lead,

that we're not living our dreams, that life is passing us by.

This sense of doubt leaves many of us feeling rudderless, confused, and stuck.

I put a lot of pressure on myself to make sure that I made the exact right decision.

Today we're going to explore the psychological traps we construct for ourselves

that keep us from living our best lives.

For many years, Christine Mattskar thought she knew what she wanted to do with her life.

But after more than a decade working in education administration,

she woke up one day and realized she wasn't the person she wanted to be.

She didn't know exactly who she did want to be,

but she was certain that that ideal version of Christine was out there.

She just had to find her.

She stumbled on what seemed like the perfect opportunity,

developing a coaching program for teachers at a boarding school in England.

She took the plunge, she quit her job, sold her belongings,

and prepared to embark on her new life.

I was sleeping on an arrowbed and had my three suitcases next to me.

I was right about to literally leave Hoboken and be on my way.

And I received a phone call from the folks in England saying,

we're really sorry, but we couldn't get you a work visa.

Instead of heading to England for her dream job,

...