Episode 515: Erica Komisar: The Parenting Myth Hurting Kids’ Mental Health

Habits and Hustle

Jen Cohen

Self-improvement, Entrepreneurship, Business, Education, Health & Fitness

4.4 • 800 Ratings

🗓️ 30 December 2025

⏱️ 65 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Do you ever feel like you are doing everything “right,” and your kid still seems anxious, dysregulated, or shut down? This conversation made me rethink what we have been told about parenting, work, and what kids actually need to feel safe. In this episode of Habits & Hustle, I sit down with psychoanalyst and parent guidance expert Erica Komisar to break down what kids actually need to build emotional resilience, why “quality time” alone isn’t enough, and how parental presence shapes brain development, stress tolerance, and long-term mental health. We talk about how stress shows up as fighting, avoidance, and attention issues, why transitions like mornings and after school are when kids need you most, and how overscheduling can become a quiet form of avoidance. She also explains why social media is a pressure amplifier, not the root cause, and what it takes to build real resilience before life gets hard. Erica Komisar, LCSW, is a psychoanalyst and parent guidance expert with nearly four decades of clinical experience. She is the author of Being There and Chicken Little, the Sky Isn’t Falling. What We Discuss: (00:00) Why Kids Are Struggling More Than Ever (08:42) The Myth Of “Quality Time” (18:15) What Early Brain Development Actually Needs (29:40) Why Overscheduling And Helicopter Parenting Backfire (41:10) The Real Roots Of Anxiety And ADHD (53:05) Why Social Media Isn’t The Original Problem (01:05:30) What Adolescents Need From Parents (01:18:50) The Hard Truth About Work, Parenting, And Priorities Thank you to our sponsors: Therasage: Head over to therasage.com and use code Be Bold for 15% off Air Doctor: Go to airdoctorpro.com and use promo code HUSTLE40 for up to $300 off and a 3-year warranty on air purifiers. Magic Mind: Head over to www.magicmind.com/jen and use code Jen at checkout.Momentous: Shop this link and use code Jen for 20% off Manna Vitality: Visit mannavitality.com and use code JENNIFER20 for 20% off your order Prolon: Get 30% off sitewide plus a $40 bonus gift when you subscribe to their 5-Day Program! Just visit https://prolonlife.com/JENNIFERCOHEN and use code JENNIFERCOHEN to claim your discount and your bonus gift. Amp fit is the perfect balance of tech and training, designed for people who do it all and still want to feel strong doing it. Check it out at joinamp.com/jen Find more from Jen: Website: www.jennifercohen.com Instagram: @therealjencohen Books: www.jennifercohen.com/books Speaking: www.jennifercohen.com/speaking-engagement Find more from Erica Komisar: Website: www.ericaKomisar.com Instagram: @ericaKomisarBooks: The Parents' Guide to Divorce

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hi, guys. It's Tony Robbins. You're listening to Habits and Hustle. Crush it.
0:12.4	Today on this podcast, we have Erica Komisar, who is really a leading expert, a psychoanalyst, a leading parent expert, a social worker,
0:23.1	you're actually still a practicing, you're still a practicing therapist, which is what I love
0:28.7	about you is because you actually have like data that's in real time. You're not just speaking
0:33.5	in theory, which is why I really, I was really looking forward to this conversation.
0:39.3	So thank you so much for being on Habits and Hustle.
0:42.1	Thank you for having me.
0:44.0	Absolutely.
0:44.9	Let's start with just overall, can you kind of just give us what, like you've been in practice
0:50.7	for over 30 years.
0:52.6	How would you describe what your intention, your goal is,
0:57.5	your mission, so to speak? Well, I mean, I've been in practice now. Actually, let me think about it,
1:04.0	probably 38 years, long time. And I would say that when I started as a young therapist, even before I was a psychoanalyst, I was a
1:15.1	social worker. And I worked in a clinic before I got my psychoanalytic training. And in that clinic,
1:21.7	I was treating a lot of children and foster families and a lot of alternative family structures, grandmothers raising
1:30.8	children, but also parents. And I was finding that they were sort of, they were lacking in
1:36.8	certain basic parenting skills. And so I started designing and presenting these parenting workshops in the clinic. And I loved doing it,
1:47.9	and it helped a lot in the treatment of the families. And so when I left the clinic, I started
1:53.6	doing them, you know, in big companies and banks and law firms and whatever. And then it sort of led to me doing more parent guidance in my practice,
2:03.3	but really what happened is I was seeing the reason I write about the things that I do is I was
2:08.7	seeing this uptick and mental illness and children and adolescents in my practice. And children
2:14.5	were being diagnosed and medicated at a younger and younger age, and I was really
	...

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