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Your Kickstarter Sucks

Episode 461: Your Gerbil’s Horoscope

Your Kickstarter Sucks

Jesse Farrar & Mike Hale

Technology, Comedy

4.91.7K Ratings

🗓️ 1 June 2026

⏱️ 135 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Oh ho ho well if it isn’t probably the 4th or 5th time I’ve started an episode description out with “Oh ho ho”. It’s weird because I do not talk like this in real life. I’ve probably never said those words in that order in my whole life. But there’s something about putting pen to paper that really brings out my “silly side”. And if you like silly, you’re gonna love this episode of YKS, which at its peak recorded over 3.2 SPS (sillies per second)! Now that’s a lot of sillies! But today’s Kickstarter campaigns are deadly serious: consider, for instance, a device that allows pets to go outside. What sinister mind…ah! Perish the thought. Just download and enjoy all that and more on today’s YKS!

Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Social Media by Maddalena Alvarez.

Executive Producer Tim Faust (@crulge)

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Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

This is YKS and we're getting crazy

0:06.4

Mike and Jee, yeah, yeah,

0:07.5

any input, baby, two certified players

0:09.8

with swagriss,

0:10.8

you ain't never heard a better podcast

0:12.3

than this volume of a seat back,

0:14.2

crack the six-pack,

0:15.2

to the worldwide kings of the game of backs,

0:17.3

come on,

0:18.5

is YKS, come on.

0:21.8

Drop that beat. This is probably. It's Y. KS. Come on. Drop that feet.

0:31.8

This is probably well-tread territory by now, but I went back and listened to the first episode because I never had.

0:34.2

And it fucking sucks.

0:35.7

How did anyone keep listening?

0:45.5

What do you think it is about you guys that got people to continue listening after hearing that toilet?

0:47.0

Okay.

0:47.6

Thank you.

0:50.2

Hey, everybody.

0:51.0

Welcome to YKS.

1:02.1

Hope it's your first episode you've ever heard of the show, and it's not uh welcome i'm j f this is mike mike what's it about that first episode that people find so beguiling um yeah i could not tell you man don't are you pulling it out to listen to it i'll kill

1:09.4

kill your ass hell no i'll chop your head off with a sword fuck no i'm you pulling it up to listen to it? I'll kill your ass. Hell no.

1:11.5

I'll chop your head off with a sword. Fuck, no, I'm not pulling that up to listen to it. Are you kidding me? That shit sucks. It's awful. I would never listen to it. That would be, uh, that'd be really, really hard for me to listen to, um, as it is for so many others. No, I don't know. I feel like we got really lucky with the time that we did it in because...

...

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