This episode of Cognitive Disnance is brought to you by our patrons, you fucking rock.

Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended.

The explicit tag is there for a reason.

Hey folks, it's here again. This is Toaster Shakens, the best and worst of 2017. All in one episode.

There's a lot of stuff I was digging through this weekend to figure out what was going to go in this show.

There's a lot of stuff I missed, but we only want to do one of these this year.

We only want to make it a normal episode length.

So I included some of the best and worst bits from last year.

Hope you enjoy it. We back on Monday with a full episode.

Until then, this will tie you over. This is Toaster Shakens 2017.

This clip comes from Episode 337, Bullet of the Month Club, released on January 9th.

I've got news for you. It still takes a man and a woman to make a baby.

Yeah, babies and marriage are the same thing. So I got news for you, Jimmy Baker.

You know what, it's funny because he fucking knows that, right? Because he got married later in life.

Didn't produce any offspring. Right?

No, right. Exactly. I mean, he can't possibly be fertile. Look at him. He's obviously irradiated.

I'm sure he's fine. It's just I'm sure his wife is my apostle.

That bobble thing. Yeah. There's no way that's dry as the day is long. Are you kidding me?

She's like, she's like, she's moistening with a turkey base.

He's got a, he's got to get that guard. He's got everything apart.

He's got a small bucket of K. Y. He's just sticking a turkey base through in there.

No, just keeps on absorbing it. I try to go in. It's just absorbing it in the walls. It's weird.

...