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Chilluminati Podcast

Episode 328: The Great Santa Robbery of 1927 ft. Santell Claws

Chilluminati Podcast

Chilluminati Podcast

True Crime, Society & Culture, Comedy

4.82.3K Ratings

🗓️ 14 December 2025

⏱️ 92 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Santell Claws brings a visit to the boys and hears the most bonkers Santa bank robbery story you'll ever know about.

CHILLUMINATI is a weekly comedy podcast hosted by Mike Martin, Jesse Cox and Alex Faciane. Hold on to your tin-foil hats and traverse the realms of the mysterious, supernatural, spooky and sometimes truly horrible - and your third eye will never be the same!

Subscribe to our Patreon to support us and for extra content like full video episodes, weekly Minisodes, exclusive art, and more at http://patreon.com/CHILLUMINATIPOD

Thank you to our sponsors:
1-800 Contacts

Mike Martin - http://www.youtube.com/@themoleculemindset
Jesse Cox - http://www.youtube.com/jessecox
Alex Faciane - https://www.youtube.com/@StarWarsOldCanonBookClub/

Editor: DeanCutty
Producer: Hilde @ https://bsky.app/profile/heksen.bsky.social
Show Art: Studio Melectro @ http://www.instagram.com/studio_melectro
Logo Design: Shawn JPB @ https://twitter.com/JetpackBraggin

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

There's no better feeling than waking up surrounded by comfort.

0:05.0

From Dunelm, the home of your kind of cosy.

0:08.0

Layer up in loveliness with our soft brushed cotton bedding and textured throws and pillows.

0:15.0

Discover hundreds of snug ways to style up your space at your local Denelm,

0:20.0

or online with free click and collect in as little as two hours.

0:23.6

The Home of Your Kind of Cozy, Denelm. The Home of Homes

0:29.6

There's no better feeling than waking up surrounded by comfort.

0:34.6

From Dunelm, the home of your kind of cozy.

0:38.3

Keep the heat where you want it with our range of thermal curtains and cuddly hot water bottles.

0:44.3

Discover hundreds of snug ways to style up your space at your local Dunelm

0:50.3

or online with free click and collect in as little as two hours. The home of your kind of cozy, Dunelm.

0:58.0

The home of homes. Hello, everybody and welcome back to the Chaluminati podcast, episode 328.

1:24.7

As always, I'm one of your host, Mike Martin, joined by three of Santa's

1:28.7

little helpers right out of the North Pole. It's Jesse and Alex, obviously. Hi. Welcome back

1:34.3

to the show, Michael Santel. Hi, everyone. I'm Santa's helper who's been circumcised. Thanks

1:40.2

for having me, everybody. Hey, I'll be real. I bet all of the Santa's helper sitting right here have been circumcised because we're, it's just the years we were born. There's nothing we can do about it. Yeah. We got all those pesky needed vital vaccines that they don't give anymore. It's good. Yeah. I look this up, but apparently, if you were born in the Midwest, it is like 100,

2:03.2

during a period of the 80s and 90s, 100% you were.

2:07.1

Like that's just it happened.

2:09.0

I don't know why it's just 100%.

2:11.9

You didn't get a choice.

2:13.0

And I'm pretty sure in the 80s and 90s,

2:14.4

if you're born, you are born in the Midwest.

...

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