Happy birthday to Corinne. This episode is dedicated to one of her dream jobs - being a living garden gnome - and the awkward parts of growing up. Magical gray nipple hairs and the moment your contractors politely place your perinatal massager, that very much looks like a dildo, on top of your clean laundry.

Today, we are discussing some documented Garden Gnomes from history. Mr. Remington, Father Francis and the Craigslist post requesting a personal gnome.

The job of being a living garden gnome is believed to have started in the early 15th century. Francis of Paola wrote about this hermit living in a cave on his fathers estate. And throughout France, there was evidence of dukes and lords having resident hermits. These people, the hermits, would live on wealthy properties and provide entertainment to their landlords.

But there was always a catch. It might, in theory, be Corinne’s dream job, but it wasn’t all rainbows and butterflies. For example, Charles Hamilton, an 18th century British aristocrat and member of Parliament, wanted an ornamental hermit. He wanted to hire someone for a seven year term contract to live in the sprawling gardens at his Painshill estate, but the hermit was never allowed to speak. He couldn’t even talk to the servants who bring him his daily meals. He was required to wear a goat’s hair robe, could not cut his hair, nails or beard — EVER. Is the Garden Gnome a Narnia-like-dream-job where you pontificate on worldly philosophies, or a grueling, cruel life of indentured servitude?

Have ghost stories of your own? E-mail them to us at [email protected]

Corinne and Sabrina hand select a couple of paranormal encounters from our inbox to read in each episode (both regular researched episodes and encounters episodes). From demons, to cryptids, to aliens, to creepy kids... the list goes on and on. If you have a story of your own that you'd like us to share on an upcoming episode, we invite you to email them to us! E-mail them to us at [email protected]

This episode is sponsored by Pretty Litter, Quince, Hungryroot, and RocketMoney.

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Edited and produced by Jaimi Ryan, original music by Arms Akimbo!

Disclaimer: the use of white sage and smudging is a closed practice. If you’re looking to cleanse your space, here are some great alternatives!