The testosterone kind of had this effect on me where with every step that I took, it would

feel good for a short amount of time.

But then eventually it's like those same feelings come back up.

There's the initial euphoria that you go through, I change my gender and everything's

going to be wonderful.

It was euphoric.

I was like, the feeling I had when I started living as a man was I was free.

I was finally who I should have been all along.

But that euphoria was short lived.

My mental health just got worse.

My ability to socialize just got worse.

I felt so disconnected from myself.

I started using drugs in alcohol as a crutch and I was just a total disaster.

And the effects of the testosterone on my mental health specifically just made everything

10 million times worse.

I lost my job.

I was homeless.

I was laying in a park in Long Beach, California in a pile of on it, trying to get my life

back.

I went down the street to our friend's house and attempted to overdose on cocaine because

I was just done.

I had blood into the lie.

...