Da, da, da, da, da, da, da.

Good morning, everybody.

And welcome to the highlight of civilization.

Best thing that ever happened to you and anybody you'd know.

And if you'd like to take your experience to levels

that nobody's ever seen before in the known universe,

all you need is a cup or a mug or glass,

a tank or a cell ofstein, a canteen jug or flask,

a vessel of any kind.

Fill it with your favorite liquid, I like coffee.

And join me now for the unparalleled pleasure,

the dope, the mean hit of the day,

and the thing that makes everything better.

It's called the Simultaneous Hippon Abyss now, go.

That's some good stuff.

Well, I know what you all want to talk about.

Talk to Carlson and the news

and stuff like that.

But I'd like to suggest a theme for today's livestream.

Do you like it when I have a theme?

When all the news coincidentally seems to fit a theme.

And here it is.

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