We are Ken Jennings and John Rodrick.

We speak to you from our present, which we can only assume is your distant past, the

turbulent time that was the early 21st century.

Fearing the great cataclysm that will surely befall our civilization, we began this monumental

reference of strange and obscure human knowledge.

These recordings represent our attempt to compile and preserve wonders and esoterica that

would otherwise be lost.

So whether you're listening from an advanced civilization or have just reinvented the

technology to decrypt our transmissions, this is our legacy to you.

This is our time capsule.

This is The Omnibus.

You have accessed entry 1000 dot ES 0905 certificate number 42869, the protocols of the

elders of Zion.

Who controls the British town?

Who keeps the metric system down?

We do.

We do.

Who is it let this off the bats?

Who keeps the Martians on their rafts?

We do.

We do.

Do you have a favorite conspiracy theory?

...