Can I have the room for a minute?

Everybody out!

My empire is twumbling!

All right, everyone back in?

I know what you're feeling, and it's fear, but not fear, failure, fear of opportunity.

I'm going to suggest that we have a little constructive talking time.

Not long at all. I mean, maybe 10 minutes or okay, or maybe 15 is also good.

So, I, uh, thinking about having kids, I got the names picked out, they're going to be doughnut and the gold in the hand.

I know what you're saying.

How do you know they're going to be girls?

They always seem to attempt to find a dishonest way to disparage me.

But I take being the focus of their attention and disparagement as a true complement of my public service effectiveness.

They can't turn off the transmissions to do harm. They're beaming them right into my head.

Well, hey there, welcome everybody to a Wednesday afternoon edition of TBTL.

This is the show that just might be too beautiful to live.

My name is Luke Burbank. I'm your host.

What do you know? We're at episode 1,944 in a collector's series.

And this week, I'm taking some time off to lower the property value of my house by attempting to repair it.

And we're bringing you some notable episodes of the show as selected by our good friend, Phyllis Fletcher.

First though, let's drag this guy into the action.

Well, that was a vivid picture of me. Drag him into the action.

That is how you usually have to get me into the action, though. Whatever the action is.

...