So get this, Blinda is saying she has fibromyalgia yet again, which means that I have to cover the Houston Conference.

That is so awesome, babe.

It can happen anytime.

Oh my god, you're not even listening to me.

Here at Listen Alert, our trained operators are standing by, waiting to respond to your calls,

to hear how things turned out.

We're prepared with such phrases as, are you kidding me, or aha, or she's the worst?

Sounds like you handle that perfectly.

Listen Alert, this is Jeff. Tell me everything. Don't leave out your feelings.

I'm on my third day of green juice, but since I'm having a salad tonight, I think it's okay.

You should have a podcast.

All this is covered by a low, low price of $100,000 a month.

So it was like my grandma's house, but at the same time it was not totally my grandma's house.

We will not listen to your dreams. We are not saints.

T-B-T-L!

How can they say this about me?

I don't believe it.

I show them. I record everything.

I don't understand why you need me to like you so much.

I don't need you to like me.

It would be fun if you liked me, because then I could prove to myself that my parents were wrong to never support me,

because I now earn the admiration of a surrogate authority figured.

...