Hey guys, my name is John Kim. I'm a licensed therapist and life coach putting

self betterment into a shot class because let's face it who's got that much time

these days. I come unpolished, unrehearsed, on purpose.

If you're looking for more of a wine glass, you've come to the wrong place.

Okay, brace yourself because this episode may be a little bit longer than 10 minutes because this

do is one of my favorites out of the 66 do's and don'ts in my new book book I used to be a miserable fuck a meaningful guide a

man's guide and every man's guide to a meaningful life I'm sorry listen I know it's my own book and I should know this shit especially the title here's a thing that's a long title I used to be a miserable fuck comma and every man's guide to a meaningful life.

All right, anyway, this one is number 36 and it's do love hard.

So I've been talking about loving hard for a very long time and a lot of it

comes from my own experiences, my own love learnings and also helping people with their relationships over the last decade

thousands of people and just pulling out themes and I think generally overall we love soft and I'm including myself in that and it's not that you know when I say love soft I'm not saying that we're not putting effort into it.

I'm saying we're not leading into our resistance right a lot of times when we love

we love when it feels comfortable and when there's discomfort or resistance when we actually

have to take ownership or look inward, we kind of drop the ball.

That's when we run, right?

And so that's what I mean by loving soft and also if you do that

you're also gonna love in an unhealthy way so it's not just when I when I say

love soft I'm not saying that you're not, you know, putting all your heart into it.

That's not what I mean.

Anyway, I like you have never gone to love school because it doesn't exist and it should they should be

teaching you this shit in high school right so we could avoid a lot of heartbreak and

pain and unhealthy patterns I never knew what healthy or unhealthy love was. I mean I

...