Episode 148: The Truth About Marriage—Dan Allender on Healing, Intimacy & Hard Fights

The Best of You

That Sounds Fun Network

Health & Fitness, Mental Health

5 • 710 Ratings

🗓️ 13 March 2025

⏱️ 53 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

In this episode, Dr. Dan Allender, a pioneer in Christian counseling and founder of The Allender Center, joins Dr. Alison to explore the raw, real work of marriage, trauma, and intimacy. Known for his groundbreaking book, The Wounded Heart, Allender has spent decades teaching how personal trauma shapes relationships. And on the very day of his 48th wedding anniversary, he openly shares how these dynamics continue to play out in his own marriage. In this episode, we dive into: * The surprising (and hilarious) fight he and his wife had the night before their anniversary * Why marriage is both heaven and hell—and why that’s actually a good thing * The childhood wounds that have impacted his own marriage * Why logic doesn’t help when we get emotionally hijacked * How to fight well and grow through conflict Check out The Deep Rooted Marriage anywhere books are sold. Have a question for Dr. Alison? Leave it here. Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. If you enjoyed this episode, you'll love: Episode 137: The Mindful Marriage—Overcome Pain Cycles and Discover the Surprising Secret to Lasting Love with Ron and Nan Deal Thanks to our sponsors: Go to Quince.com/bestofyou for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Go to AquaTru.com and enter code BESTOFYOU at checkout to get 20% OFF any AquaTru purifier! Contact Restoring the Soul today and learn how their Intensive Counseling Process can jump start your journey to the place you want to be. As a special gift for The Best of You podcast listeners, download their free pdf "5 Ways Unresolved Trauma May Be Derailing Your Relationship." Turn back time on the appearance of your skin with Purity Woods’s Age-Defying Dream Cream. Go to puritywoods.com/BESTOFYOU or enter code BESTOFYOU at checkout for an additional 10% off your first order. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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1:24.4	Hey, everyone. I'm Dr. Allison, and I'm so glad you're here to discover what brings out the best of you.
1:31.3	This podcast is all about breaking free from painful patterns, mending the past, and discovering our true selves in God.
1:38.9	I can't wait to get started as we learn together how to become the best version of who we are with God's help.
1:48.4	Hey, everyone, and welcome back to this week's episode of The Best of You podcast. I couldn't be
1:54.0	more thrilled to share with you today's conversation with Dan Allender. Dan is a hero of mine,
2:00.2	and for so many of us in this field of trying to bring
2:03.1	together the best of psychology with faith and Christian spirituality. Dan is just a trailblazer
	...

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