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TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live

Episode #1344: The Return Of Mike Daisey

TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live

TBTL

Comedy, Leisure

4.82.4K Ratings

🗓️ 17 May 2013

⏱️ 44 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Monologuist Mike Daisey joins us to talk about the scandal he found himself in last year when he was caught in a series of lies.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Hi, I'm Magic Johnson with a few tips on blowing up the Death Star.

0:05.0

First off, never forget your objective.

0:08.0

They're gonna be so many folks coming at you to slow you down.

0:12.0

You might feel like you got a bull's eye on your head.

0:15.0

No, but they will be trying to kill you.

0:18.0

Also, don't forget you have teammates out there watching your back.

0:22.0

Unless you've been messing around with their wife or girlfriend.

0:26.0

No, but they will be there to help you.

0:29.0

Lastly, you want to make sure you step back and take cover after you sink that bucket.

0:34.0

Because that sky going to light up like the Fourth of July.

0:38.0

No, but there will be a large explosion.

0:41.0

T-B-T-L!

0:47.0

I've studied the human mind.

0:49.0

I've learned how to read it, and ultimately control it.

0:52.0

You ever been in a cockpit before?

0:54.0

No, sir, I've never been up in a plane before.

0:56.0

You ever seen a grown man naked?

0:58.0

I have to actually wear a freaking bra now and rubble this nasty cocoa butter stuff on myself.

1:03.0

So, like, I don't know, my skin won't explode.

1:06.0

Just because we have chiseled abs and stunning features,

1:10.0

it doesn't mean that we too can't not die in a freak gasoline fight accident.

1:15.0

I hope it feels good.

...

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