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Good evening. I hate some tickets. This is your captain speaking. Welcome to Thunderbird Airlines, Friday Number 667. Hope it's a little bit smoother in their last flight. We'll be taking off shortly on a four-hour non-stop red eye to Point Pleasant, West Virginia.

Here at Thunderbird Airlines we don't avoid the

weather, we make it. So we'll be responsible for two cloud bursts, three squall lines, a super cell that covers four states, three final clouds over the Midwest, and all the lightning you can handle.

Our in flight mill will be roasted white bulldog in Wisconsin cheddar sauce.

Oh my goodness.

Oh, what?

And now for our safety presentation, our chief right attendant Tammy.

Hello and welcome to Thunderbird Airlines, where safety is our number one concern.

Please refer to the seat back card if you have any questions.

As we're preparing for takeoff, please move your seat backs and prey tables to their full, upright, and locked position.

This aircraft is a federally regulated no spooking zone.

Federal law prohibits the tampering with or removal of squawk detectors in the lavatories.

Murderous apparitions can be found at the front and rear of the aircraft as well as over the wings.

Please bear in mind that the nearest apparition rear of the aircraft as well as over the wings.

Please bear in mind that the nearest apparition might be right behind you.

Please take this moment to turn off all personal electronics such as EM meters,

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