Episode 070 - Dating

This Jungian Life Podcast

Joseph Lee, Deborah Stewart, Lisa Marchiano

Jungian, Mental Health, Health & Fitness, Psychology, Dreams, Jung, Relationships, Selfhelp, Society & Culture, Psychoanalysis

4.8 • 1.7K Ratings

🗓️ 1 August 2019

⏱️ 73 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

We define dating as the quest for serious partnership or ongoing companionship. Today’s dating world is radically different from that of even a generation ago, and is light years away from previous generations. Dating apps and social media expedite and expand the range the search for a suitable other - and often turns dating into an exercise in personal marketing. Dating also now spans an age range from teens to older - even elderly - divorced or widowed adults. If today’s dating culture provides individuals with autonomy and choice, it also denies them the safeguards provided by family, religious, and cultural norms. The online persona may be very different from the actual person, from age and appearance to character misrepresentation. Lacking social context and mutually understood social norms, individuals are required to be more aware of what they seek in another. They also need to be more aware of the projections and relational complexes to which they are susceptible.

Dream

I was in a big Catholic cathedral; maybe in Spain or Italy. A mass was about to start. A usually generous friend of mine pushed passed me and took the last seat with a good view, one-in from the end of a row. Then I was standing near what seemed to be the tower of an Anglican church, which stood inside the Catholic cathedral. The doors of the tower flew open and a 2 metre tall black plinth on wheels was pushed out. On the plinth was a devilish/trickster character in a black Renaissance costume, making a scary face like Hannibal Lecter. I felt some fear but also the thrill of the theatrical spectacle.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome to this Jungian life.
0:03.0	Three good friends and Jungian analysts, Lisa Marciano, Deborah Stewart and Joseph Lee,
0:09.0	invite you to join them for an intimate and honest conversation that brings a psychological perspective to important issues of the day.
0:17.0	I'm Lisa Marciano and I'm a youngian analyst in Philadelphia.
0:22.0	I'm Joseph Lee and I'm a youngian analyst in Philadelphia. I'm Joseph Lee and I'm a youngian analyst in Virginia Beach, Virginia.
0:27.0	I'm Deborah Stewart, a youngian analyst on Cape Cod. God. Today we're going to talk about dating.
0:37.0	It's a hot topic.
0:41.0	Our clients come into the office all the time. They talk about putting themselves on the line with a new person.
0:48.0	They go into a very vulnerable setting. They're hoping for happiness. They're hoping for happiness they're hoping for love
0:54.4	sometimes they just want to be validated everybody in a sense wants to be chosen and not
1:00.0	left out and in the midst of all of that desire, all of that complexity, people's
1:07.6	psychological sense of well-being, their hopes and fantasies, are brought to a really, really vulnerable, complicated
1:16.7	place.
1:17.7	And we're just going to talk about that.
1:18.7	Yeah, I wanted to talk about this one in particular because not only have we had several requests for this
1:24.8	topic or related topics, but it's also definitely something that's been coming into my practice.
1:30.1	I mean, always, right? It's a perennial concern. concern just I think that was a great introduction because what what comes to my mind is how
1:40.0	vulnerable we make ourselves when we're in pursuit of a connection and how that brings up old psychological
1:49.9	wounds or to use the Jungian term, how it kind of constellates our complexes.
1:57.4	And it seems to me that this process of dating has become very, very complicated and very, very individual.
2:07.0	Without the context that past generations have had of families and similar locations, values,
2:16.5	maybe religious backgrounds, educational backgrounds.
	...

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