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Today I effed up by screaming about masturbating and almost ruined a wedding.

Dude, you shouldn't do that.

Like, that sounds like the worst thing that you could say at a wedding.

And maybe like the worst time would be like, hey, does anyone not agree that these two people should be together?

And then you say, yes, I do masturbation.

Something like that.

That would have been great, although that that's not the case.

So I am mostly grateful this only happened.

This only happened in front of a few people and not the bride and grooms extremely

Catholic families. Oh, thank God. Thank God. I object to your honor. What about tickling your

sausage? I was in a wedding this weekend and a little bit into the dancing. A couple of the other

bridesmaids and I stepped out to change into sneakers to really get our dance on.

Yeah, get those moves grooving.

Oh, yeah.

And then Uptown funk came on and we were singing and dancing along as we left.

Dude, you know you got to get funky when the funk plays.

Honestly, it's a banger.

It's an absolute banger.

So I just carried on this one for them hood girls, them good girls straight masturbating.

Okay.

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