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Guaranteed Human. I purposely told my parents the wrong time for my wedding and they are furious. But I do it again. Am I the A-hole? It's not actually a smart move, but it is just such a hilarious way of making sure your parents aren't at your wedding. Like, just tell them, oh, it's on Tuesday. Oh, oh, sorry. Sorry. I mean, like, I must have gotten the dates mixed up. Yeah.

So, sorry. Sorry. I mean, like, I must have gotten the dates mixed up. Yeah. I'm so sorry. Really, like, they just show up to like the middle of nowhere. Yeah. You're say your wedding is in a forest. Oh, yeah. It's in Nevada in the desert. Like, wow, that's a weird destination wedding. But okay. So my male 33 parents are late for everything,

like everything. Both of my sisters and myself have been disappointed so many time.

Graduation ceremonies, birthday parties, even my father's retirement dinner. It is completely my mother's fault. She's a wonderful woman and I love her dearly, but she does not understand the concept of punctuality. That's tough. Yeah. I feel like you get to get a shock

collar for your mom then. Every time she's late, start zapping her until she gets there. That is one way

to do it, Sam. You're so kind to your mother. It really inspires me, man. Thanks, mom. I have seen her

talking to her sister on the phone and reminded her she needed to be at my baby sister's dance recital. She waved me off and arrived after my sister had danced. That's so bad. That's just like almost like just inconsiderate. Yeah. Or it is inconsiderate. Yeah. I think so. We are all used to it. My dad is just done trying to get her to be on time for anything. My now wife, female 28, told me in no uncertain terms that if my mother was late for our wedding, she would do terrible, terrible things to me. She was only half joking. But she was a witness to my mom and dad driving halfway through my cousin's Kinseniera. Halfway through. Dude, like, especially a wedding. Like, I can get even being late to like a kinsignera or something, but which is already bad. But a wedding? So, Opie has a plan. Okay. Here is what I did. It is completely on me. My wife is not involved. If there is a dick move, it was completely mine. When we were getting

samples for the wedding, I talked to the printer and had one special invitation printed with the

time on it stating it was one hour earlier than the actual start time of the ceremony. Pretty smart.

Not bad at all. Also selling it all the way with an actual invitation with the time. Pretty smart. Yeah, I thought it was going to be like five hours, three hours in advance. Yeah, honestly, with how late these parents, I would have done three hours. Yeah. You know, you never know. My mother was beside herself, apparently, when they left the house and thought they were going to miss the wedding. She was part of with her and my mother-in-law lighting the candles, we would use to light the

unity candle and stuff. When she arrived and noticed other people were also just arriving and

parking, she was so relieved that we were starting late that she just went with it. So she was invited

early to the wedding, was like late, was worried that, oh my God, I'm going to miss the whole ceremony and then realize that it was starting late. I mean, it sounds like it might just be the perfect crime. Yeah. So far. So just, I guess, make sure no one finds out. That's it. The ceremony went off beautifully and so did the wedding pictures and the reception. But the problem came last Sunday.

My parents came over for a big family dinner and we didn't bother starting the grill until they showed up, which was much later.

She asked by everyone wasn't eating and we just said we knew we would be waiting for them since they are always late.

Just the facts.

She said that she wasn't always late and had been on time for my wedding. Which also, how are you not like self-aware of your lateness? Yeah. At that point when you're that bad. That, that late. And also, like, even if, like, saying you were on time for a wedding that even if you believed it started late, like, then you're not on time. The wedding just started late. Yeah. So you're not, you don't get a jail, get out of jail free card. Oh, God.

Um, she hadn't been. They arrived 45 minutes after the time on their invitation. Then, my idiot cousin

John, real name, because it's common and he deserves people to know he is adult snorted at her statement.

A few other people giggled, smiled at this and she picked up and asked what was so funny.

I came clean and told her about the special invitation.

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