This is Lee Habib, and this is Our American Stories, and we tell stories about everything here on this show, from the arts to sports and from business to history and everything in between, including your stories, send them to Our American Stories.com.

That's Our American Stories.com.

And our next story comes from our regular contributor, Kent Nürburn.

Kent is the author of letters to my son, of Father's Wisdom on Manhood, Life, and Love,

which is a compilation of letters written to his own son

should Kent not live to see him into manhood.

Today, Kent shares with us another one of his lessons.

It's called Craig's Lesson.

Music Most young people I know, and many who are older, live in a quiet crisis of identity about their place in the world.

Some, especially young women, spend their lives submerging their interests into the interests of others,

until they are not sure whether they have any identity at all.

Others, very often young men, try desperately to impress others by parading their accomplishments

and sense of self-importance in an attempt to make themselves seem somehow whole and finished.

Still others of both sexes spend their time passing a brittle judgment on others they perceive

as different or lesser than they are, in an attempt to establish their own identity at the expense of

others. At the heart of each is the fear that someone else might pass judgment on who they are

and that they will be unmasked or found out for the uncertainty that is at their core.

When I was younger, I was as played with this fear as anyone else.

Often I would dare not to act for fear of someone judging me.

Other times, I forced myself into the center of discussions in a pitiful attempt to make sure I was recognized for everything I thought or did.

I excluded others. I demeaned others. I pointed

out their weaknesses and inconsistencies as a way of raising myself by lowering those around me.

...