Ep 95: Forgiveness: How to let go of hurt and anger, and why to do it at all

Help Me Be Me

Cloud10

Health & Fitness

4.8 • 1.9K Ratings

🗓️ 9 May 2017

⏱️ 53 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Forgiveness is a monumental practice because it really guides a lot of what you believe in your life -about the world, love, relationships and also yourself. I’ve said this before but truly the reason to forgive is for you: because it’s kind of like being stabbed and then keeping that knife in your body. Forgiveness is something only you can decide you are ready to do, but it’s also something only appropriate in certain situations. It comes from a pure and genuine goal created for the right reasons, with all the practical information at hand. For example, you might want to forgive your ex for breaking your heart, but you can’t force that until you are ready to accept and move on. Another example of a situation that might be best left for processing but not forgiveness – is chronic abuse. This is a situation when we are likely to blame ourselves – so it’s really vital to lean into anger and claim that blame. When it comes to other deep wounds, when we prematurely choose to forgive it’s often because some part of us wants to skip over the pain of confrontation – looking at how bad we really hurt. When we want to forgive because the emotions associated with a certain event bring us BELOW the level of who we know we are, that is a mature and profound decision – one made from your highest self. This is something we all get to choose: basically, to align ourselves with who we know we are. What I want to do with this episode is really pose that invitation in a way that might get you closer to the reality of processing or forgiving – or knowing where you need to place a hurt from your past. References: Triumph of Heart http://amzn.to/2pt308G The science of forgiveness http://www.salon.com/2015/08/24/the_science_of_forgiveness_when_you_dont_forgive_you_release_all_the_chemicals_of_the_stress_response/ Haven’t read this myself but this is by the guy who heads up the Stanford Forgiveness Project which does a lot of good research. http://amzn.to/2qZy5Tt Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Seeking the Truth Never Gets Old.
0:03.0	Introducing June's Journey, the free-to-play mobile game that will immerse you in a thrilling murder mystery.
0:09.0	Join June Parker as she uncovers hidden objects and clues to solve her sister's death in a beautifully
0:14.4	illustrated world set in the roaring 20s. With new chapters added every week,
0:19.3	the excitement never ends! Download June's journey now on your Never Ends.
0:29.0	Download June's Journey Now on your Android or iOS device or play on PC through Facebook games.
0:37.3	Hi, peeps. Help Me be me is underfunded and needs your help. If you enjoy listening to this or it helps you at all,
1:11.0	please visit Help Me Be Me.com and click donate or visit me on Patreon. Thanks. Hi friends it's Sarah May. This is an episode for a listener and you wrote to me a while ago, but I'm hoping this answers your question. It's all about forgiveness and basically what it is, what it isn't, and how to do it, and why do it at all.
1:20.0	So it's a toughie. It's like a it's one of those things that you can want for yourself,
1:28.0	but it's like a whole other thing to actually do it.
1:31.0	It's a big topic and a big differentiator in life because it guides a lot of
1:39.0	what you believe about yourself and about others, about the world, about love, about people,
1:47.3	relationships. And I've said this before, but truly the reason to forgive is for yourself because it's kind of like
1:57.6	being stabbed and then keeping the knife in your body it's an intrusion and it will prevent you from fully using that area and
2:07.6	relaxing into it and having access to it. So it's something only you can choose for yourself and decide if you want it or know if you're ready to do it.
2:20.0	And it's also something only appropriate in certain situations.
2:27.0	So it comes from starting with the pure and genuine goal to forgive and having that for the right reasons.
2:37.6	And that requires you have all the practical information at hand.
2:42.3	For example, you might want to forgive your X for breaking your heart, but you can't
2:46.9	really force that until you are, you're done processing, until you've accepted and integrated and actually physically moved on.
2:58.0	Another example of a situation that might be best, not for forgiveness, but for something other,
3:06.0	like another version of forgiveness
	...

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