Hello and

I'm your host Andrew Heaton and I got you a Diet Coke.

And the program is brought to you by

The Unexpected Log is brought to you by the unextinguishable log from Taylor Fuels.

You're an Osiawapaha brave surveying the white man's cavalry as it marches across the endless expansive plains your people

have inhabited for millennia.

It is here on the prairie that you grew up hunting bison and shortgrass manatee you know this land better than

anyone you know for a fact that there is no fabled city of gold or fountain of youth

there's grass and lots of it, but the Spaniards don't believe you and they

just keep coming. Unless you are able to ally with your ancestral nemesis, the Pocacassee.

You fought each other for 10,000 years, but at least they don't wander around with pots on their heads like a bunch of lunatics,

or have overpriced meals called Tappas, which are just appetizers, but are charged like

entrees so that you're not even full by the end but somehow you've spent

your whole week's food budget on a plate of biscuit with shrimp on them.

No, the Pocacasy are many things, but they do not swindle men on overpriced meal samples.

Also the Pocacasi show up to things on time.

Maybe they'll be late by 10 minutes but they're not going to rock up three hours late and shrug and say they were out late salsa dancing and lighten up and have atop us.

No, sir.

And that's why, when you give the the signal you will ally with the Pocacassee.

And they will come charging into the canyon to slaughter the Spaniards as you block the exit.

All you have to do is send the signal the smoke signal you

motion to a fellow OSHA ha braveah-Brave, Greenhorse, and he lights a fire.

...