Hello and welcome to Something's Off with Andrew Heaton.

I'm your host, Andrew Heaton, and I love you.

The program is brought to you by The Unexpected Log from Taylor Fuels.

There's nothing quite so irritating or embarrassing

is going to the trouble of stoking a fire in your chimney

only to have it suddenly crap out on you.

There you are, fire-blazing living room all warm and toasty and smelling pleasantly of smoke,

when your hearth suddenly starts getting performance issues.

Maybe it's because your logs are past the expiration date. Maybe

it's because you bought cheap Chinese logs down to the discount store. Either way,

you're out of luck. Well, good thing Taylor Fuels makes the

unextinguishable log. You can't put it out no matter how hard you try. Toss water on

it, holds it down with a fire extinguisher, or smother it with a lead blanket, that smoking

chunk of super wood is not going out. You might as well shout at the fire to stop for all the good

it'll do you. Put three or four unextinguishable logs in your fireplace and you've got a guaranteed

piping hot hearth for hours.

Going camping?

Build your inferno with Taylor Fuel's unextinguishable logs and you'll be telling ghost stories around a blazing conflagration

which will not and cannot be stopped by mere mortals.

Only time and lots of it can finally reduce it to harmless ash.

I cannot stress enough just how difficult it is to put out one of these logs.

Over the weekend my producer Jennings and I lit one up and tossed it into a gun case.

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