I used to make fun of the intersectionalists at the website every day feminism, but over

time I began to feel there was something fundamentally unkind about mocking the delusional rant of,

for instance, a white man who identified as a pregnant black woman and thought it was unfair

that he was required to have an actual womb before he could slaughter his imaginary child

with a make-believe abortion.

Hilarious, yes, but fundamentally unkind.

But hilarious.

So today I'd like to set aside my cruel ridicule of those sad souls and instead turn my cruel

ridicule on the people over at PETA because let's face it, they're not stew.

PETA is a group dedicated to making the lives of human beings miserable in order to promote

causes that will have no effect whatsoever on the lives of animals.

For instance, PETA got the animal crackers company to take the pictures of animals and

pictures of circus cages off their boxes so that the animal pictures might run free

before you open the box and bite the head off a zebra.

But now PETA has turned its gougly eye detention to changing the way people speak about animals

because the lives of animals will be wholly unchanged by that, but it might make people

unhappy and thus serve PETA's ultimate goal.

For instance, PETA wants us to stop saying, kill two birds with one stone and instead say

feed two birds with one stone.

I'm not making that up.

Instead of beat a dead horse, they want us to say feed a fed horse and instead of bring

home the bacon, they want us to say bring home the bagels.

...