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Over It And On With It

EP 506: Moving Out of an Anxious-Avoidant Relationship Dynamic with Chloe

Over It And On With It

Christine Hassler

Mental Health, Self-improvement, Health & Fitness, Education

4.8 • 1.7K Ratings

🗓️ 30 July 2025

⏱️ 33 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

In this vulnerable session, Christine coaches Chloe, who finds herself caught in a painful loop of anxious and avoidant attachment patterns within her marriage. Chloe’s husband is navigating a midlife crisis and exploring his own healing journey, leaving Chloe feeling uncertain, hyper-vigilant, and emotionally stuck.

As they unpack Chloe’s longing for clarity and security, Christine gently guides her to examine the deeper soul lesson at play: reclaiming her own truth, needs, and emotional expression without waiting for external validation.

If you’ve ever dimmed your emotions to “keep the peace,” or found yourself anxiously waiting for someone else to decide your future, this episode will speak directly to your heart.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Do you find yourself waiting for someone else to give you clarity or permission?
  • Are you stuck in a cycle of people-pleasing, withholding, or over-functioning?
  • Do you often feel anxious in your romantic relationships—even if nothing is “wrong”?
  • Are you afraid to fully express your emotions for fear of rocking the boat?

Key Insights and A-HAs:

  • Anxious and avoidant attachment styles are two sides of the same insecure coin.
  • Waiting for someone else's clarity can disempower your nervous system and inner child.
  • Love without truth is not real intimacy—truth and love must go hand in hand.
  • Emotional safety starts with allowing yourself to feel, express, and be seen—fully.
  • We often attract partners who mirror the healing we still need to do within ourselves.

How to Deepen the Work:

  • Pay attention to the moments you “pretend” everything is fine. Start telling the truth—gently but consistently.
  • Stop waiting for clarity. Ask yourself: Is this relationship, as it is now, enough for me?
  • Use the phrase: “What I’m making that mean is…” to clarify miscommunications in real time.
  • Reconnect with your inner child and notice where she still believes love must be earned or tiptoed around.
  • Set an anchor point in your calendar (like a retreat or personal milestone) to reassess from a place of greater embodiment and clarity.

 

Upcoming Retreat: October 17–19, 2025

Christine’s next live retreat for women is happening this October, and applications are now open. This is a curated, transformational space designed to help you release old patterns, reconnect with your inner wisdom, and receive the love and clarity you truly desire.

This retreat isn’t about pushing, fixing, or performing—it’s about truth, embodiment, and healing in a sacred space.

Dates: October 17–19, 2025
Apply Now: christinehassler.com/retreat

Social Media + Resources:

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

This is episode 506, moving out of an anxious, avoidant relationship dynamic with Chloe.

0:08.3

Welcome to Life Coaching with Christine Hassler, a space where truth and love come together to

0:13.6

guide you back to your truest self. Hi, I'm Christine, a master coach, author, and spiritual

0:18.8

psychologist. For over 20 years, I've supported

0:21.7

people through the deep work of letting go, waking up, and coming home to who they truly are.

0:27.1

Each week, you'll hear an unedited, unscripted coaching session with someone moving through a

0:31.2

challenge or block in their life. These are tender and powerful conversations where deep

0:35.8

healing happens in real time. Even though I'm

0:38.7

coaching someone else, you will hear yourself in their story. This is a place where you will feel

0:43.1

seen and supported and walk away with insight, emotional relief, and tools you can apply in your

0:48.7

own life. Let's dive into today's session.

0:59.6

Hey everybody and welcome to the show. Whether you're in a relationship or not, this episode is going to offer a lot of insight on how to break out of that pattern of being in an

1:06.5

anxious and avoidant relationship dynamic, meaning one person has that anxious attachment style,

1:13.2

one person has a more avoidant attachment style, both are insecure attachment styles.

1:17.5

We want to move toward a more secure attachment style. And like I said, even if you aren't in a

1:22.1

relationship, your attachment style plays out in dating, it plays out in friendships, it's still

1:27.2

playing out in your

1:27.8

family of origin. And we can learn a lot about ourselves by learning about attachment styles.

1:34.1

And I've done podcasts on attachment styles. I'll link a couple in the show notes as well if you

1:39.5

want to go back and reference some of those. Chloe also mentions that she's coming to my retreat in October,

1:44.9

which I'm so excited about. We are filling up. The women that are enrolling are amazing.

1:51.5

We do have an application process, and people have asked me why. And the reason we do that is

...

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