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Over It And On With It

EP 494: When Your Fear of Being Alone Keeps You in Unhealthy Relationships with Elena

Over It And On With It

Christine Hassler

Mental Health, Self-improvement, Health & Fitness, Education

4.81.7K Ratings

🗓️ 26 March 2025

⏱️ 23 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

In this honest and empowering coaching session, Christine works with Elena, who is navigating the emotional aftermath of ending a seven-year relationship. Although the breakup initially seemed mutual, deeper fears have surfaced—particularly around abandonment, self-worth, and what it means to be alone.

Christine helps Elena explore the deeper roots of these fears, which stem from unresolved childhood trauma and modeled behavior from her mother. This episode addresses why we often stay in relationships that aren't healthy, the difference between true forgiveness and repression, and how to break free from generational patterns.

Through this conversation, listeners will learn how to embrace solitude, process anger in a healthy way, and find strength in standing firm in their boundaries. If you’ve ever questioned whether you were too hard on someone, or feared walking away even when you knew it was the right choice, this episode is for you.

 

Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Have you ever stayed in a relationship because you were afraid of being alone?
  • Do you struggle with repeating family or generational patterns in your relationships?
  • Are you confusing forgiveness with repression?
  • Do you feel like you're settling for less than you deserve because it feels safer than the unknown?

 

Key Insights and A-HAs:

  • Being alone in a relationship can feel lonelier than being on your own.
  • Anger, when unexpressed, can turn into anxiety or self-betrayal.
  • Repeating generational patterns is common, but with awareness and action, they can be broken.
  • True healing requires both reparenting yourself and creating new internal belief systems.
  • Boundaries are an act of self-love and are essential to change long-standing relational habits.

 

How to Get Over It & On With It:

  • Embrace solitude as a form of strength, not weakness.
  • Practice anger release through safe outlets such as movement or journaling.
  • Acknowledge generational influences without letting them define your future.
  • Reframe thoughts that tempt you to return to unhealthy dynamics. Ask yourself, “Is this my voice, or my programming?”
  • Visualize the kind of parent, partner, or person you want to be, and make choices in alignment with that vision.

 

Social Media + Resources:

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

This is episode 494, when your fear of being alone keeps you in unhealthy relationships with

0:07.3

Elena. Welcome to Over It and On With It. I'm your host, Christine Hassler, and for over a decade,

0:14.6

I've been a life coach, speaker, and author. Each week, you'll hear me work directly with a

0:19.0

caller as I coach them through a goal they want to accomplish or an obstacle they may be facing.

0:23.2

I'll provide a blend of practical and spiritual advice as well as tangible actions you can apply to your own life.

0:29.0

Now, let's get on with the episode.

0:35.3

Hi, everyone, and welcome back to the show.

0:40.2

If you miss my episode on Saturday, I just did a quickie episode on how to really care for yourself and navigate intense times. I've just been

0:46.1

hearing from so many of you on Instagram that you're just feeling all the feels right now,

0:52.5

physically, emotionally. And so I just wanted to offer some quick

0:55.8

tips on how you can really care for yourself during those times. So if you missed it,

0:59.9

go back and have a listen. Today's episode is about a breakup, but it really applies to anyone

1:05.5

who has ever doubted a decision, who fears being alone. And if you are someone that has found yourself

1:13.3

in a series of unhealthy relationships or even one unhealthy relationship, be it a romantic relationship,

1:19.7

friendship, co-worker, or whatever, this is going to be an important episode because I unpack

1:23.9

a lot of the reasons that we often stay with people that from a practical point of

1:29.9

view are really not that great of an option. So keep these questions in mind when you're listening

1:35.1

to my coaching call with Elena. Were you in a relationship much longer than you should have been?

1:40.6

Do you have trouble with breakups and find yourself taking back someone

1:44.7

and forgiving someone, even when everything in your body is saying no? Do you have in a strange

1:50.9

relationship with one of your parents? And finally, do you fear being alone so much that it impacts

1:57.0

your ability to make healthy decisions around your relationships. So keep those questions

...

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