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Over It And On With It

EP 468: What Believing You Don't Deserve Love Is Costing You with Charlotte

Over It And On With It

Christine Hassler

Mental Health, Self-improvement, Health & Fitness, Education

4.8 β€’ 1.7K Ratings

πŸ—“οΈ 11 September 2024

⏱️ 34 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

In this episode of Over It and On With It, Christine Hassler coaches Charlotte, a woman grappling with feelings of unworthiness and a deep-seated fear of being seen. Charlotte's inner struggle stems from a belief that she does not deserve love and attention, which leads her to hide her true self in many of her relationships.

During the coaching session, Christine helped Charlotte uncover how her childhood experiences of growing up with siblings with special needs and feeling responsible for minimizing her own needs contributed to her pattern of people-pleasing. This has resulted in Charlotte often putting others before herself, even to her detriment. Christine guides Charlotte to understand that this pattern, which was once a coping mechanism, no longer serves her as an adult, especially in her role as a mother.

As they work through these deep emotions, Christine helps Charlotte recognize the importance of self-love, boundaries, and allowing herself to be seen and supported rather than always being the one to please others.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Do you often feel like you are not deserving of love or attention?
  • Do you have difficulty receiving love and support, even though you crave it?
  • Are you prone to people-pleasing and putting others' needs above your own?
  • Can you identify patterns from your childhood that influence how you show up in your relationships today?

The Guest's Key Insights & A-HA's:

  • Charlotte's belief that she doesn't deserve love stems from her childhood, where she felt she needed to make things easier for her family, especially her mother, who had other children with special needs.
  • Christine helps Charlotte realize that her habit of being "low maintenance" and avoiding taking up space prevents her from fully experiencing love and connection in her adult relationships.
  • By identifying this belief and the behaviors it drives, Charlotte can start to reclaim her sense of worth and build relationships where her needs are met, too.
  • The session emphasizes the importance of healing old wounds, setting boundaries, and embracing self-worth.

How to Get Over It & On With It:

  • Acknowledge that you are just as deserving of love and attention as anyone else.
  • Begin setting boundaries that protect your emotional well-being and ensure your needs are met.
  • Practice receiving love and support without guilt or fear of being a burden.
  • Reframe any childhood beliefs that make you feel less worthy of care and attention.

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Transcript

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0:00.0

This is episode 468. What believing you don't deserve love is costing you with

0:06.8

Charlotte. Welcome to Over It and On With It. I'm your host Christine Hasler and for over a decade I've been a life coach,

0:15.2

speaker and author. Each week you'll hear me work directly with a caller as I coach them through a

0:19.8

goal they want to accomplish or an obstacle they may be facing.

0:23.0

I'll provide a blend of practical and spiritual advice as well as tangible actions you can

0:27.0

apply to your own life.

0:28.0

Now, let's get on with the episode.

0:37.0

Everybody, welcome back to the show. I'm so happy to have you here.

0:38.0

Today, the day this episode drops,

0:40.0

I'm hosting my group for moms,

0:42.0

virtual group coaching for only $20. If you're listening

0:45.8

to this show early enough in the day you can still join me at christinehasser

0:49.0

dot com slash group. If you missed it and you want to grab the recording, you can still go to

0:54.8

Christine Hauser.com slash group if you do it today or the next day, but after about

0:59.3

September 12th or 13th, you can get it at Christine Hauser.

1:02.4

dot com slash group replays. Any challenge with that, just email

1:06.7

assist at Christine Haster.com and my team will take care of you. It's going to be a great group on motherhood and the challenges that go with it and the

1:15.8

identity shifts and the guilt and how we mother ourselves and our own inner child while

1:20.4

mothering others and the transitions everything from that

1:22.8

initial transition into motherhood to empty nesting and how we can really

1:29.0

regulate ourselves and take exquisite care of ourselves to be an amazing example for our children.

1:35.0

Which brings me into today's episode.

...

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