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Over It And On With It

EP 463: Stop Talking Yourself into an Unhealthy Relationship with Sarah

Over It And On With It

Christine Hassler

Mental Health, Self-improvement, Health & Fitness, Education

4.81.7K Ratings

🗓️ 7 August 2024

⏱️ 33 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

In this episode of “Over It and On With It,” Christine Hassler coaches Sarah, who struggles with the complexities of a relationship that appears both deeply meaningful and deeply troubling. Sarah's situation involves a partner who alternates between emotional closeness and sudden, unexplained withdrawal, triggering Sarah's abandonment fears.

Christine helps Sarah recognize the unhealthy patterns and offers guidance on finding the strength to set necessary boundaries. Christine's compassionate yet direct approach aims to support listeners who may find themselves rationalizing toxic behaviors in their relationships due to unresolved childhood wounds.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Do you find yourself attracted to relationships that cause you significant stress and anxiety?
  • Are you making excuses for someone's unhealthy behavior because of their past trauma or because they express emotions sincerely?
  • Did you grow up in a household where you felt neglected or unloved, leading you to accept less than you deserve in relationships?
  • Do you struggle with setting firm boundaries and often talk yourself into staying in relationships that don't serve you?
  • Are you ready to take bold actions to change unhealthy patterns in your relationships?

The Guest's Key Insights & A-HA's:

  • Sarah's intense connection with her partner is rooted in unresolved childhood abandonment issues, making her more tolerant of behaviors like ghosting and emotional withdrawal.
  • Despite the partner's ability to articulate emotions, his repeated blocking and disappearing acts are red flags that cannot be overlooked.
  • Christine highlights the importance of evaluating how someone handles stress and whether they take responsibility for their triggers and actions.
  • The episode underscores the necessity of setting clear boundaries and recognizing when a relationship is unhealthy, regardless of the depth of emotional connection.

How to Get Over It & On With It:

  • Acknowledge and address the old childhood wounds influencing your tolerance for unhealthy behaviors in relationships.
  • Practice emotional and physical grounding techniques to reconnect with your sense of self-worth and power.
  • Seek out trauma-informed therapy or coaching to work through past wounds in a supportive and healthy environment.
  • Establish firm boundaries and recognize that justifying toxic behaviors is a coping strategy rooted in past trauma.
  • Affirm your worthiness of love and respect, and take bold actions to protect your emotional well-being.

Upcoming Events:

  • Christine Hassler's upcoming retreat at the end of September 2024. Early bird pricing is available until the end of August. Register at christinehassler.com/retreat.

Social Media + Resources:

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

This is episode 463. Stop talking yourself into an unhealthy relationship with Sarah.

0:09.0

Welcome to Over It and On With It. I'm your host Christine Hasler and for over a decade I've been a life coach, speaker, and author.

0:17.0

Each week you'll hear me work directly with a caller as I coach them through a goal they want to accomplish or an obstacle they may be facing.

0:23.2

I'll provide a blend of practical and spiritual advice as well as tangible actions you can

0:27.5

apply to your own life.

0:29.3

Now let's get on with the episode. Hey everybody, welcome to the show today.

0:37.5

I'm excited for this episode because I have seen so many of us out there, I would say us, because this was me at one point as well,

0:46.4

trying to talk ourselves into an unhealthy relationship.

0:49.4

Most often it's a romantic relationship, but it can be business, it can be family members, it can be friendship.

0:55.9

And one thing that is so deeply healing to the inner child and to all parts of us and to our soul really is to get out to like stop the pattern

1:07.1

of being in relationships that aren't what we desire and deserve.

1:11.4

We will stay in the familiar for a very long time, you know, for a lifetime.

1:16.2

And we will make excuses and we will justify, but we can feel in our gut that something is off and I encourage you to listen to that to really listen to your inner knowing.

1:27.0

The voice of our inner knowing often isn't as loud as the voice of our fears and our patterns and connecting deeply to that inner knowing even if it

1:35.2

feels scary is so important.

1:38.0

And this is one of the many things we're going to be looking at and diving into at my retreat

1:42.2

in September,

1:43.0

September 28th and 29th,

1:44.9

over at Nonwith at Live Retreat.

1:47.4

I'm gonna really help you connect more deeply

1:50.2

to your inner knowing and your intuition.

1:52.9

So you just know and that you can take action on it.

...

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