What's up, guys? Welcome back to Five Minute Fatherhood. So I was having an interaction online

with someone who was describing how they were losing the heart of their oldest child. And

I began to think about, okay, what is happening with the father and that oldest child? What is the

dynamic of that relationship? And the mom was like, why is that? Why are you asking that? So I wanted to read this to you guys and

Jeff get your thoughts about this. But this is what I wrote. I said, I asked because winning the

heart of the oldest is mostly the job of the head coach and every team. They see this dynamic in

sports when a key player is brought onto the team. The coach tries to figure out how to develop a deep bond. It's this

bond between coach and captain that gives great strength and unity to their leadership. You can't think

of a family as a team and then try to make everything equal. No team functions that way. You don't

want to create rivalry, but the oldest has a strategic place in the family. In a family of the father's

first follower is his wife, but she makes him a leader by

enthusiastically following his leadership. The next is the oldest child. I think of winning her heart as the

most important way to think about your family's next season. It's the first priority. If she

falls in love with the family team, then the rest of the kids will be way easier to win over,

and the team dynamic will start happening. If you lose her, it will be nearly easier to win over, and the team dynamic will start happening. If you lose her,

it will be nearly impossible to stop the family from devolving into individualism. This happens

primarily as her father wins her heart, then shares his heart with her for the family, for the family

team, and then she out of love for her father cares about the things that are on her father's heart.

So this is kind of just a dynamic that happens in teams all the time,

and we understand it. You know, you would never have a team where there's a new head coach,

and then he sort of ignores the quarterback. He would go out with him. He'd like talk to them.

He'd be like, hey, and so what was happening in this family is that there wasn't any specific

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