Ep. 27: You Get "Too Emotional", Baby
The Baggage Reclaim Sessions
Natalie Lue
4.9 • 867 Ratings
🗓️ 11 March 2016
⏱️ 52 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
In episode 27 of The Baggage Reclaim Sessions, Natalie talks about No Contact and Low Contact at work, fear of failure and why she's glad she stopped looking for what she used to look for. This week's listener wants to know if the guys she's dating are "too emotional" and Natalie shares what she learned about drifting and the need for at least a little bit of life planning. In the first part of the show, Natalie gives a brief overview of No Contact and Low Contact and shares her own experience which was part of the inspiration for her book, The No Contact Rule. She offers up 7 tips for navigating low contact at work which you can also download: http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/27download More about The No Contact Rule Book: http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/NC You can also download 10 Irrational Fears About No Contact: http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/27download In the second part of the show, Natalie explains how having a parent or key influencer who pushes you to the best and who tells you that failure isn't an option, can instil a fear of failure that causes you to coast. Natalie includes questions for self-exploration and some perspective on 'failing'. Download The Unsent Letter Guide: http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/downloads/ In the third part of the show, Natalie shares why she's glad she stopped looking for mommy and daddy figures in her romantic partners because next week, she will be celebrating 10 years together with Em (her husband). This week's listener has gone from being with emotionally unavailable men to working on her availability, to feeling uncomfortable when she meets guys who seem "too emotional" because they talk and share their feelings. She keeps meeting guy after guy like this and wonders what's 'normal'. In What I Learned This Week, Natalie is thinking about life plans after she listened to Amy Porterfield's business podcast (link: http://bit.ly/21mUmVs) and the interviewee Michael Hyatt's sage advice on how we drift into chaos really resonated with her.
Email: podcast@baggagereclaim.com
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | This week I offer up tips for doing no contact at work. |
| 0:08.0 | Plus I help a listener figure out whether the guy she's dating are, air quotes, too emotional. |
| 0:14.8 | I'm Natalie Lou, a writer based in Southeast London who is dedicated to helping people |
| 0:19.9 | to improve their emotional and relationship literacy. |
| 0:24.0 | Let's kick this off. |
| 0:27.0 | It's tough enough to go through a breakup, |
| 0:28.7 | but even harder when you have to face that person |
| 0:31.5 | each day at work. |
| 0:33.0 | And there can be this fear of looking immature, |
| 0:35.0 | fear of having boundaries, fear of not being in control, |
| 0:37.7 | fear of confrontation to name but a few. |
| 0:40.6 | And it can cause you to keep engaging, which in effect only extends the pain and actually gets in the way of you being in a professional and getting on with your job. |
| 0:50.0 | Most people I speak to who are working with or even working for their ex don't think that they have any other option but to suffer in silence or to do battle. |
| 0:59.0 | So in this first part of the show, I want to talk about no contact at work. Very quickly, no contact is when |
| 1:07.8 | post-breakup you step back from being in contact with an X so that you can have the space and time to |
| 1:16.2 | grieve the loss of the relationship but also so that you can put some healthy |
| 1:19.6 | boundaries between you because you know when you break yeah break low contact is what |
| 1:27.0 | happens when you can't cut off entirely from that person for a time because you have to see them. It could be that they are the |
| 1:36.4 | other parents of your child, it could be that they are a family member, or in this case it could be that |
| 1:41.0 | you work together. So low contact is civil |
| 1:44.3 | contacts, civil, professional, polite, whatever you want to call it, but basically |
| 1:49.6 | you're only in touch about the absolutely necessary. You will, you know, engage with that person |
... |
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